Tuesday, December 12, 2006

WHAT IS AN INTERNET AUTHOR ?

An aardvark and an albino rat are walking in joy, trusting God. During their tenure together, aka during their search for weapons of mass destruction, they encounter an anonymous author. “What is an internet author?” the anonymous author says to the traveling companions. “I have diarrhea,” says the albino rat. “I have diarrhea so bad I can hardly stay on my tractor. I’ve talked with my other farming friends and they are experiencing the same thing. I pigged out at the Chinese buffet and now I can poop thru a keyhole at 30 yards.” The anonymous author, not knowing how to respond, simply asks his question more loudly, “WHAT IS AN INTERNET AUTHOR?” The aardvark projectile-vomits on the anonymous author’s knees. “I’ve seen Fred Durst’s penis, and I can’t stop vomiting,” he says, apologetically. “How many calories do you have to burn to burn a pound?” By this time the anonymous author is really very, very angry. He stamps both his feet and shouts, “You aardvark, you, and you dirty fucking albino rat, TELL ME! WHAT IS AN INTERNET AUTHOR?!?” “Didn’t his adventures with an overdue library book keep you amused as a kid?” asks the albino rat. Before the anonymous author can answer, the aardvark interjects, whispering to the anonymous author, “The fucking albino rat has a very satisfied face, no? Looks like a handjob man. See where the hand is and where the strategic yellow flap is?” Meanwhile, the albino rat has crawled up the anonymous author’s pant leg, unzipped his fly, pulled out his penis and has begun yelling at the top of his little lungs, “This dick looks like a fucking aardvark snout!!! Holy shit!! I mean come the fuck on. This white boy accessorized his fucking white dick!” But the “dick” is indeed a real “aardvark snout” and an entire aardvark crawls out the anonymous author’s zipper hole, falls to the ground and ambles down the road, grumbling, “Fucking chickens, fucking llamas, fucking bunnies, fucking ant eating little anteater motherfuckers. Well, you're not gonna get me.” The first aardvark and his friend, the albino rat, continue on their way. All that’s left of the “anonymous author” is a pile of clothes.

Monday, November 13, 2006

Hot Tuna Fantasy Guitar Camp



MONDAY

lighting to red-gold the tips of the willow
The moon isn't waxing it's dusting
an explosively loud vacuum toilet
Jorma's conjuring jewels out of blackberries
Psychiatrist Viktor Frankl who survived
the Nazi death camps says Lemme tell ya
I snorted this entire song at church

TUESDAY

Revelee: cbs kraut bobble and visigoth delphic mush
An elf: Take that you damn nerds (Darth Vader begins to laugh
wearing a black head-to-toe abaya in the hot sun
I remember my dreams of nazi children
their way of letting you know that your back moans
like a hot princess wondering around camps
or a Susan Sontag sort of way, or a winking-ha-ha sort of way

WEDNESDAY

The eternal sinewy buzzsaw welcoming celebrants
To bushy haired sweat benches
Apparently, word of my proficiency on the tuba has reached
a struggling young trophy band in the parlance of our times
It burns a bright blue flame. A combination of methane gas,
and Scottish strathspeys...Using the nail, press a hole through the
side of
This adorable young thing, my thumb
I am not a pussy...I decide to swallow the blood and complete the set.

THURSDAY

Pinball purists shunned the new invader, but we were hot to experience
this latest incarnation from the pitchfork has shut down gulags
As I lifted my chin and looked upwards it was the light and smoke
from the burning chest that attracted Aag
over ruins of Houston putting its gas mask WAY bluegrass
at the Areopagus we are all Gods

FRIDAY

Adults are becoming increasingly FRAYED TO THE POINT OF PSYCHOSIS
Dropping a throng of sweaty people into the space needle
the Canadian geese will lift off for their final jaunt to Chile
On the way, while hidden behind a cloud, I will spot a field mouse
as ONE and all ego boundaries dissolve into the ether

Sunday, October 15, 2006

Safeguarding Our Satellite

Safeguarding Our Satellite


no one wants the Sun to do its best
trying to take care of everyone
the house is individual beauty
and the grave is as it is
figured we'd take our chances
expect the worst,
the quantifiable shirt -- lay down
with a fleet of spacecraft
naked and trying to remember
if we are our driver's licenses
getting confiscated

people think that we wear monocles
and take bubble baths and read about autumn --
that last part is true, but
time here is high-res, you can experiment
by carving perseverance with a knife
throw yourself upon a placid mount of trust, uncomfortable
in a car where people are
fire up the more and more reliant
lullabies of sarcastic replies
the daystar gives us life and
a blinding time of year is like a journalist on the take
moving your legs to create a shape
it is a gesture
your bag directly on the dirt
I want to go somehow
to the People Who Don't Suck
who have invested their careers in some institution
the tents are provided
by a giggle
and a giggle
is a feeling of the sun

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Sunday, September 03, 2006

Nerf Land



human beings r sooo presidential ... they r
renting out puppies now ! ! ! ! how cruel is that ? ! ?

haiii... now im at su’s house... she’s sooo presidential lor....
just now we were like at an orchard screaming
about doin presidential stuff

The system is sooo presidential that it appears
stealth spells / skills are the only true way to go .
My buddy has no problems with enemies
because he finally became Republican: “Rap does suck
and is sooo non-presidential aka non-Presidents Attempting Poetry.”

Yeah, I used to say it more than I do now. I realized
how stupid it sounds. “OMG, that is sooo presidential”

OMG THIS is SOOO Presidential!! Just Bugging Out.

a random comic!! I drew it at my cabin
a few weeks ago! I just forgot it was in my bag!!!
Katie's request suffered the same fate!

I eat it plain..OOOOOK!! roflmfao! and then
“Beth, are you cookin sumpthin?" OOOOHH
SHIT MY RAVIOLIS!! lmao.. that was soo ... you know.

She moves her head with it to see it as it flies .
She is sooo presidential lol . .
thank God this wasnt during a war , it was just a horse lesson . hehehe

Having little nerf land 10 ft away then hearing someone
yelling “your hit! your hit!” from 50 ft away is sooo presidential .
It just causes people to make money [which is obviously all
they want to do, they are a business ––

theyre maikin fun of fat ppl then tellin them to use
theyre product its not gay just really presidential]

YO dude . . my friend just fucking oded for the 4th fucking time . . .
this time on some flintstone vitamins . . . my friend is sooo presidential

Idiots have bred presidents to be much larger than ever
intended, thereby increasing the incidence of hip dysplasia .

IT IS SOOO PRESIDENTIAL!!!!!! I WANT SOME CHEAT NOTES
SO I CAN FINISH THIS STUPID POEM!!AHHHHHH!!!!!!
WELLLLLLLBYE!!!! laugh out loud!!!!! love, a person!

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

I Looked Over Jordan and What Did I See



I saw a US Marine in a pile of debris
he told JFK that he really had to pee
I need to go and take a pee
I shit on you I shit on me

peeing is a hobby
you aim to the left
and pee to the right
or is it the other way around?

the cowboys cry "ki-yip-pee-yi"
deep in the heart of Texas
1. who has an erection while peeing?
2. no mortal man could pee that much

this fine young virgin she was there
her portfolio was down 30%
the pee-oor old sle-ave, etc.
the piggity poor old sliggity slave etc.

ladies please torture & humiliate me
by Uncle Bob
your daddy's mad
he's done got pee-eeved

all right for keyholes
and little girlies' peeholes
but that's merely a clarinetist
who hide in their office and pee on their carpet

but the third of these pee little thrigs
he was smart
it was more like a rock
peeing on another rock

I am the very model of a stupid Star Trek admiral
I'm in the mood for love!
I shall smite thee!
I was kicked out of a video store

Poetry and Squirting



influential troubadours filtering out small organisms
in their thoraxes with the garden hose for a meal
relate the universal aspects of poetry by massage
of the lower udder and squirting of each teat

artists waving corn dog puppets hang loops
of pounding and squirting and sarcastic delivery
on a flimsy story about petroleum (its origins, alternatives)
and you have a real experience

employees riding around on scooters and squirting herpes
in a calorie-heavy chamber of the steering edifice
add all the statements together for the sickest part

pupils with complex and mature vocabulary
enjoy raking digging and squirting water into sand

usually when I babysat her we would run around
on the beach throwing water balloons at each other
and all the other trappings of problem drinking

as I try to press and buzz it when we both intertwisted
I ended up eating straight chicken
and squirting ketchup into my mouth

some cats might be prone to freaking out
and squirting their filthy saliva in every direction

having to swim all the time and
squirting all over the pages of such
magazines as Smooth and Little
is just fun

people would be pacified and
squirting Carly would still marry him
and yet for all this the countess is both
a lovely and a fascinating woman

Thursday, July 06, 2006

Dead Elvis Made Me Pregnant



I got racist. That was the most miserable part
of my life. You would think that racism would baby

you and everything. I am no expert, but when
my son had my periods and had an abortion God

just gave them fresh seafood from crablegs, clams,
squid, octopus to seaweed magically. I got my note

out of the God-box, all frothy and delicious. His
tentacles were reaching towards Cambridge scientists

who knocked me up. I've always wondered how
they got people onto those shows, into those cat fights.

Now I understand. After they dumped me they had
the nerve to ask me not to be a racist anymore,

ducking from the invective I was hurling at them.
“Bullet Bullet in the head!” Gee, I wonder who that jerk

could be? I wasn’t the one who gave me chlamydia,
who knocked me up, the one who got me evicted!

That wasn't my cocaine. That wasn't my racism. So
I found the whole history of racism while fiddling

around online earlier. I read a little My Space blog.
We talked then of Earth and America and politics

and racism in America and I wanna go on jerry springer
cuz my moms bf is the 1 who turned me into a racist

but she doesn’t know his remarks about the Hispanic
men with whom he worked, using patriotism so

shamelessly mawkish that one of his main “Dead Elvis
made me pregnant” genre stories from the Boulder

Public Library made me racist again. You are in the correct
Mr. Show sketch, Racist in the Year 3000, but the line

you answer to is simple: yes, if you are a racist, “of course”
if you are a blatant racist. Run, run away from that pig! Or crawl.

Whatever. I was his baby and he had his baby’s head near
a croc. The headline read “Cat Swallows Parrot, Now It Says N-Word”

Thursday, June 22, 2006

What People Are Saying About Flarf



Forty million Americans write flarf;
the only ones who don’t like it are Judge Thomas and Jay Leno.
“I tried it once but it didn't do anything to me
that it doesn’t does to you. I really don't know
that much about it.” A chubby man.
There’s been no top authority saying what flarf does
to you. Just say know. Another rumour
has Cuomo forbidding flarf. He seems genuinely surprised.
Almost forgot: Janice Joplin never even wrote flarf..... well, actually
she tried it once, but it didn’t do anything for her.
“He said what about flarf, and I told him that I tried it once but it didn’t
do anything for me. I then stopped him and said, are you GAY too?”
There’s nothing better than good flarf. But bad flarf?
“There's no room in the poetry world for amateurs.”

Wait Until Ric Ocasek Okays It



They wait until you're finished getting huge
And play them against what I see until
I find they came up with the concept of
We were saying "Okay, Karate Kid."
Cars frontman, Ric Ocasek, lends his guys
Cars, always gets the girls ...wait a minute…
I really didn't “know it” until my
Early teens: by buzzing power cords
Much like in my previously-posted
Halle Berry story, a guy who looked
Like a crossbreed between Stephen Hawking
And Ric Ocasek. I’m barely listening
As I wait to get a very thin fell-
Ow who looked a lot like Ric Ocasek,
Consumer, producer, and brainstorm…Nah,
Wait a minute ... If you thought her name was
Amazing, wait until I go bowling.
When things get kind of sketchy, Modest Mouse,
Journey back from your keyboard-dripping, tell
Them you did not get cable until you
Were right. You can drag Ric Ocasek and
Boy George ... rockers are scary ...you still can't
Until "Rudolf the Red” can run his own
Stupid show (“Slam dunk: Ric Ocasek walking”).
I got tongue tied and was like "ric osee---
Ocaa---you ... “ I also can not wait
To decorate my locker, but I doubt
We'll get locker assignments (low E string)
(the thickest one). Wave romp with "Dangerous Type"
Which even Ric, our government, falls for, things
Will never change. I jump out of my skin.
I hate any place where trendy f--ks wait
In line ... would avoid you like a leper
Until a bouncer (with minty freshness!)
Locates a honkin' big scale that I can use.
Retardo (e-mail) … now wait a minute …
Treated the audience to "Deer Path Dances."
I hobble on it for a week until
Astronauts doing it in space sell-out,
Until Bush, Aerosmith, that is, until
Natalie Portman makes her own website.

Thursday, May 18, 2006

Their Guys, Their Asian Glittering Guys, Are Gay

from Michael Magee's Mainstream Poetry (Blazevox, 2006)

Ten years and this will be just another big Asian city, like
countries and let the Empire swallow them for their own benefit.
Brutus and Ajo look at me, pity in their eyes. Maybe the thin
Asian chick, burgundy car coat, Hong Kong chic. They like
opium, the old guys down in Chinatown: pick up trucks,
insinuating that guys with trucks are deconstructing ads,
explaining their basic meaning by Asian Norms: about six
guys although on some occasions they bring in the 6, picked
up and grunted as they made their way ... Asian Santa is 7" tall.
The “green” is still spotted with snow, but the flag is up, the ball
is on the green, and the Golf Guys have their drivers ready.
You always hear about sleazy guys who get blowjobs matching
their spectacular looks to Kimmy, a 21-year-old Asian cutie.
Young ladies dial a number on their cell phones--I understand.

The country guys are having a model minority Asian
stereotype in a carton which the guys really enjoyed (occasion
was the baptism of their sons). I don’t want to sound stereo-
typical, but most Asian people I HAVE MET, are pretty short.
Their evil plots always lose in the end and Asian girl in shower
makes soapy mess, soaking wet both in and out of their Hispanics––
different, however, depending on their skin tone: my lights
went off so the two guys couldn’t but he was definitely Asian
or Malaysian or something. The 2000s may well be the Asian
century, a fantasy world where even the bad guys are beautiful.
With their easy going nature (you will find I’m sitting at work),
the guys with the white-striped manes (my eyes had switched
from their normal green) have a special girl or guy and watch
the “biker-bankers” tear off their Hell’s Angels with a party
of gun-toting guys heading to the grubby paws of horny
girls and guys grabbing make-out session to titillate straight
guys (epitome of the Dragon Lady cum Asian sex goddess).

An Asian woman who spoke little English kept asking
about tomorrow. They expected to see an Asian in the
remote areas. Guys in military uniforms will pass out
queue numbers: octopus cooked in their own ink is a Spanish favorite.
On Friday mornings regardless of their age, gender, the bed slipped
into recession. A full month of Asian action and general
weirdness after the 1998 Asian markets crisis, a bigger, nastier
version of the little guys that you rape with less than 3 guys
behaving like the Killing Angel, each for their own reasons,
more like an alien than an Asian. An Asian business man rips off
his coat, revealing a glittering, Vegas style. What this guy
should really do is take apart the upper right hand corner
for a glittering gender: predominantly female ethnicity.

Tomorrow, the English guys are drinking: enjoy engaging
with their culture caught in between two guys while a video
camera mounted in the wall behind their couch OH NO! NOT!
jams mint into her mouth. Guys in pajamas of every color
but gold prefer to walk in the dark and bang their shins.
“Are you guys alright?” There was no response in that communiqué.
The hungry and naked spend their lives doing only this;
they don’t really look Asian, necessarily, so much ... I
always figured that if the guys guess what was on their logo,
the crazy guys in movies (you know the type––guys who will
write happy talk hammering out the best deal for
their fighter, “a real fight”), our little guys are ruined. The others
turned to see one of their men had fallen. Indeed, despite his glittering
blues, greens, and silvers (“As we retreated two white guys on
bikes appeared...”) they had him tied up in their old Frontier.

Thursday, May 04, 2006

Polie



I sleep w/ a polar bear each night named Polie
I'd love to say we make our own pantsicle fun
also known as "barfing up poop"

basically I drank too much last night and I've always wanted a panda bear
and a cow

the cat is barfing in my shoe because
pants are for girls

your monkey has infested this place and
disguises himself as an Italian and kills people

jungle folks are up in the morning and at all
hours of the night and day
and upchucking when they are pinging and so
I doubt anyone would want to see that

trimethylxanthine is the compound
of super barfing? or eating chocolate meat

and so what if the occasional really cute talking polar bear
mentioned getting oboe as a result when it was
at the top of the list of sounds

it's a barfing buffalo and well, it likes to barf I think

barfing really screws me up

this is a great clip of a kid barfing on TV

I don't know when Laura's having her tonsils out or where

chemotherapy smells like a polar bear

Some Major Flaws in Evolutionary Theory



few artists can claim the worldwide superstar status
of Simply Red

anyone can claim they believe in God but
excuse me your balls are showing

the point behind the Creation
was to mock the argument that 9/11 was an inside job

and why it's another heavily spoiled Neon Genesis Evangelion thread
to full-out laming decline

I saw a fucktard talking to a certain someone
being assraped by her work and crap that innovating new sound

as a scientist, I shouldn't have to tell you that
"experimental" simply means some fucktard 12-year-old playing the drums

the conversation is as follows
pain in the ass "fat fuck"

somewhere right there I'll be
shoot me now! my wallet is made of duct tape

in fact we still had to pretend that we live in a
George W. Bush fucktard discussion

because the ratio of her ass to the sugar-free bumblebee guy-tini
is simple enough for her to NOT expand

because elves look good without shirts
(in this case, we see evolution)

every night I look at the sky...
BUMBLEBEE FAIRIES!

I like certain color schemes as well, i.e.,
black/white, black/yellow, fuckity/fuckity/fuck

I simply must state a counter point, balls on YOUR face
I happen to agree that you are a fucktard

the gym is fun ain't great like a good sex scene
"OK" is more betterer than "doot doot doot doot"

but I totally couldn't spell, GRRR
what a burn on fucktard

which I apparently think otherwise
hey, dog owners, fuck you

and a big fuck you to any crybaby emo bubblegum pop-punk bands
I may have overlooked

it just doesn't work, the fuck you completely overshadows the fucktard
man you're an angry person

your socialite name is Bumblebee Chicago
get out of the house meet someone without your credit card

at this point, a "startling discovery" would be
all the horrors that life will inflict upon you

this is where I bitch and slowly go crazy
that's the norm in New England

Kent Johnson Gets Life In Prison



U.S. Judge Leonie Brinkema sent Kent Johnson to prison for life Thursday to "die with a simper" for his role in the 1996 Yasusada hoax, and subsequent annoyance of everyone except Forrest Gander and John Latta. The Midwestern goldbricker declared: "God save--Chris Daniels--you will never be like him." The unrepentant Johnson capped the two-month trial with an intense exchange that will mark the defendant's last public words before his incarceration.

According to the jury, catching sight of a pretty woman was enough to throw Johnson's decision-making skills into disarray. The more testosterone he had, the stronger the effect. Men about to play the financial game were shown images of sexy women or lingerie. The jury found they were more likely to accept unfair sexual cues that distract the men from focusing on their task which is belligerently provoking hysterically angry defensive blog comments from otherwise mild-mannered poets.

A day earlier, the jury rejected the government's case to "see the sun, to hear the birds, the birds can go wherever they want, right?--that's why they are a symbol of freedom in poetry." There's more to the story, for the simple reason that every time Johnson opens his mouth he deliberately contradicts all human imagination with a kind of brittle ego management system. "Mr. Johnson, you came here to be a martyr in a great hate orgy of glory," she said, "but to paraphrase the poet T.S. Eliot, instead you will die with a simper." The flat language & spastic lineation and obvious punning of this statement sentenced Johnson to six life terms without the chance of any publications or reviews of his work (except self-publishing at work). Arthur Vogelsang who, along with Mr. Johnson, lost his sense of humor in the 1996 poetry hoax, has come to see the creation of the poet as a professor who for some reason thinks he's anywhere near as scathing or amusing as Ed Dorn on a bad day--he isn't.

The Pentagon was one of three institutions Johnson allowed to speak on his behalf at the brief sentencing hearing. It turned to Johnson and said, "There is still one final judgment day, and if this were the only poem in which the language sounded like badly translated High Church Slavonic, one might be able to sustain such a reading, but the faults of your verse should lead to having you ignored, though I like it when you fuck with people I secretly hate."

Not all jurors were convinced that Johnson, who was in jail on listserv troll charges, had a significant part in the hoax, despite his boastful claims that he did. He gave his version of having like nine people read any of his poetry for his whole life, and that he suffered a difficult childhood in a dysfunctional family where he spent many of his early years in and out of orphanages. Three found that Johnson only played a minor role in the hoax. Using evidence gathered in the largest investigation in U.S. history, prosecutors achieved a preliminary victory making him eligible for the death penalty because he kept agents from discovering that smug, purposeless, and self-congratulatory creative acts can get a rise out of clinically depressed people with rage management issues.

Defense lawyers overcame the impact of two dramatic appearances by Johnson himself--first to renounce his years wasted writing earnest poetry that nobody read, then gloating that "this is just getting better and better." (Does this sound like it was written in the 60s?) Why are we still talking about this?

"You have branded me as a terrorist or a criminal or whatever," he said. "Look at yourselves. I fight for my belief." He spoke for less than five minutes; the judge told him he could not use his sentencing to make a plug for his new chapbook. Johnson sat in his chair staring mournfully at a faded Art Garfunkel album, betraying no emotion and flashing a victory sign.

"Mr. Johnson, when this proceeding is over and the sun no longer rides its chariot across the cobalt ocean of the sky, everyone else on the listserv of human civilization will start admiring James and the Giant Peach and thinking that this makes them happier rather than more spiteful." "All to my point," Johnson tried again to interrupt her, but she raised her voice and spoke over him. "You will never get a chance to post to anyone's comment field again and that's an appropriate ending." But Johnson continued, "The world paints me as a secretive, cackling goldbricker hiding in cowardly fashion behind the scenes, motivated by sardonic smugness and misanthropic disdain, and that's true, but I'm really a good guy--see, I have a copy of your chapbook right here as I perfunctorily insult you."

That Johnson suffers a mental illness and that actually bothering to get mad at him would make him a martyr is obvious. No jurors indicated on the verdict form that they gave any weight to those ideas of "reading" and the "responsibility" of the author, who actually does exist, but not for the reasons you think, but for purpose of delivering pleasure to others, including the pleasure of not taking people seriously. But even with heart-rending testimony from nearly four dozen victims of the hoax the testimony forced some jurors to wipe tears from their eyes--the jury was not convinced that Johnson deserved to die just for being a depressing reminder of their own worst moments.

Thursday, April 27, 2006

Flarf: The Movie


All of the readings from the Flarf Festival group reading last friday night at the Medicine Show Theater in New York are now available for viewing at YouTube.com. They appear to have already gotten more than a thousand viewings. We can only surmise that there are more ANNOYING DIABETIC BITCHES out there than we thought....

To see all the readings click HERE.

Saturday, April 22, 2006

Smokey BBQ Doritos



(Scene One: Archie Randolph Ammons was born in 1926 on his family's small lights come up. Lou Reed and Auden are sitting in the Eastern Europe. OHHHH HOMEY FUCK ME aaaahhhhaaaaaahh aaaaahhhhhaaaaa aaaaaaaaaha. Lou Reed is trying to explain something to Auden and Tarzan by drawing diagrams on a blackboard)

Lou Reed: (points to elaborate diagram) Smokey BBQ Doritos! I miss these more than any other food that hasbeen taken off the market! These were my favoritechips EVER!! BRING THEM BACK!!!

Auden: I support this petition. Please bring back thesmokey bbq doritos...I will purchase them in bulk.

Lou Reed: I support this petition. Please bring themback...I would buy them in bulk.

Auden: I support this petition. i ate these chipseveryday in high school!

Tarzan: (getting up from Eastern Europe) Who the fuck carries a machete unless you live in the jungle? Still, for many, doritos remain mysterious. One of major source for Tarzan poetry is silence, all that's not spoken about. So the silences in Tarzan culture -- Tarzan think, in a way, doritos sucked out of us by magnetic attraction of that silence.

Auden: Tarzan wearily put dollar into Rick's tip jar. "Just play 'Tarzan Boy' for me.

Lou Reed: I support this petition. BBQ doritos wereaddictive and the best chip ever!

Auden: I support this petition.

Tarzan: Suddenly I'm not Tarzan. I'm me. Find myself in bed with a girl I like, kissing and
petting.

Lou Reed: ineedthem I support this petition. Please bring them back ihave never had a chip that made me just cravethem. I need them they are the best chips you evermade.

(Archibald MacLeish enters from upstage running his yo-yo. He is dressed not at all like James Dean. Stands watching them, skeptically)

Auden: me I support this petition. I love them but they hadwhite powder on them I need them and there gone sogood bye cruel worl

Archibald Mac Leish: hater I don't support this petition. Those chipssuck horribly sucky sucky sucky sucky sucky suckysucky sucky sucky sucky sucky sucky sucky suckysucky sucky sucky sucky sucky sucky sucky suckysucky sucky sucky sucky sucky sucky sucky suckysucky sucky sucky sucky sucky sucky sucky suckysucky sucky sucky sucky sucky sucky sucky suckysucky sucky sucky sucky sucky sucky sucky suckysucky sucky sucky sucky sucky sucky sucky suckysucky sucky sucky sucky sucky sucky sucky suckysucky sucky sucky sucky sucky sucky sucky

(Lou Reed attempts to strangle him with the yo-yo string, but fails)

suckysucky sucky sucky sucky sucky sucky sucky suckysucky sucky sucky sucky sucky sucky sucky suckysucky sucky sucky sucky sucky sucky sucky suckysucky sucky sucky sucky sucky sucky sucky suckysucky sucky sucky sucky sucky sucky sucky suckysucky sucky sucky sucky sucky sucky sucky suckysucky sucky sucky sucky sucky sucky sucky suckysucky sucky sucky sucky sucky sucky sucky suckysucky sucky sucky sucky sucky sucky sucky suckysucky sucky sucky sucky sucky sucky sucky suckysucky sucky sucky sucky sucky sucky sucky suckysucky sucky

(There is a brief but awkward silence. And do try not to say Fuck while talking to the alumni.)

Auden: Fuck you, Archibald MacLeish, you fucking fuck, with your fucking pink Power
Ranger psychosis

* * *

(Scene Two: They are having drinks at the chapbook. They walk around with their salami hamocks swinging alongside Mickey Mouse and the Japanese characters. At the University, the woman would tell her colleagues about Tarzan, who is delicately fondling a pastry. Auden and Lou Reed are arm-wrestling on top of Archibald MacLeish, who is on all fours).

Tarzan: Tarzan write each poem as a kind of trial of possibility. Tarzan love idea of received space. It never occurred to build own house But Tarzan love to fit into existing space. Here, as before, unfailing knack for finding precise dorito or anecdote that capture bravado, shame, and superstition that mark boyhood.

Auden: if you bring these chips back i promise i will gobuy a crap load of them!

Lou Reed: PLEASE BRING EM BACK!

Auden: Oh my gosh! I fell in love with this chip so longago and to this day I cant get them off my mind!they were sooooo good with jalepno dip! they wereso good! Pleeease bring them back!

Lou Reed: These chips with Jack and Cokes are simply unreal.

Auden: THE BEST CHIPS EVER

(Another silence ensues. Lou Reed creeps up behind Auden, who is thinking intently "Nice to
meet u, i'ma big BOT fucker!" and brains him with a copy of the Maximus poems)

Tarzan: (shocked) Farkette BioGoddess' boyfriend moved to Australia for nine months and now wants to "see other people."

Lou Reed: (slyly) BBQ doritos were my favorite! Bring them back!

Tarzan: (accusingly) BBQ dorritos were great! BRING THEM BACK!!

Lou Reed: haffizulla bbq doritos were the best chips ever please bringthem back.

Tarzan: what kind of sick twisted freak would take doritos3d off of the market?? I lived off of those!!!PLEASEEEEPLEASEEEE bring tghem back!!

Lou Reed: BBQ doritos were my favorite chip while they wereout, bring them back!

Tarzan: These were my favorite chips.

Lou Reed: At one point they were the only chips I ate. Iloved them and I wish they were
back.

Tarzan: I abosolutely loved the BBQ Doritos. Me and mybuddies would go through so
many bags in a week. I'm tempted to spend the $12 to buy a bag fromCanada off of Ebay.

Lou Reed: I support this petition and BBQ Doritos areawesome. Pretty Please with Sugar
on top.Pleaseeeeeeee

Auden: (dead) I loved them! Please, bring back the BBQ Dorito!

Sunday, April 16, 2006

The Hairshirt Diaries



(scene one: Kevyn and Trey are sitting on a park bench. Moustache-less beards are OK. Some dude has threatened me with "the shearing of the sheep." They are waiting for Robyn. What's up with these Amish people, anyway? Why are they always on buses?)

Kevyn: So, as I was saying, Plain and Simple is a little gem of a book. Sue Bender's search for her inner spirit leads her to examine the life of the Amish community.

Trey: Yes, I observed that her journey begins with a simple quilt that catches her eye in a museum. Something about the stark yet vibrant quality of the quilt speaks to her heart.

Kevyn: Sue's busy and chaotic life style has taken a toll on her artistic spirit. In the simple Amish quilt she finds the calmness that she wants to capture for herself.

Trey: Dry humping is when two people rub their bodies against each other--often moving their genitals together and simulating the motions of intercourse without actually having it.

Kevyn: People can be partially or fully clothed or not wear clothes at all.

Trey: It's also called dry sex or frottage.

Kevyn: Sue arranges to spend several weeks living among the Amish community, going back to the basics of a simpler time. Dry humping is a good option for people who don't feel ready or don't want to have sexual intercourse.

Trey: What you are doing is basically making love without the penetration. This is one of those books that will remain within easy reach.

Kevyn: When I feel my spirit lagging, I'll reach for Plain and Simple to remind myself of the lessons I learned.

(Robyn enters, wearing my blonde Fender Telecaster. Because of a misinterpretation of scripture, we function in society without kinky fetishes such as watersports. Yeah sure, love this idea, how would you like yogurt down through the woods and hills of Chester County?)

Robyn: Hello Kevyn, Hello Trey! Sorry I'm so late--My boyfriend and I have not had sexual intercourse, but on occasion we rub against each other, and often have an orgasm through this process as well. We usually strip down to our underwear during this time (I know it sounds strange, but anyway...).

Kevyn: The sexual activities that you and your boyfriend are partaking in are NOT strange! As a matter of fact what you are referring to is so normal that I enjoyed reading what little there was about the Amish women but was not at all impressed with Sue Bender and her "journey".

Robyn: Get a life, Sue Bender, and leave the Amish alone.

Trey: Four stars for what little she wrote about the Amish women themselves, though.

Robyn: Is this sort of activity or rubbing each other through 2 layers of underwear sexually healthy, or can it lead to some long-term damage?

Trey: After reading the reviews of others, I want to note that I pick up this book roughly once a year, especially to read its summary, which Sue Bender calls a "ninepatch."

Kevyn: It captures what she learned from the Amish--lessons that remind me of Wendell Berry's work, which also comments on what might be called agrarian values.

Trey: What's our motivation now?

Robyn: These ten songs will make you dry hump your stereo system: "It's a Man's Man's Man's World" by James Brown, "Mystic Lady" by T. Rex, "I Put a Spell on You" By Screamin' Jay Hawkins.

Trey: That's only three songs.

Robyn: When we dry hump, I never ejaculate at all. I have never ejaculated near her vagina or anywhere on her body.

Kevyn: Stop that! I said, what's our motivation now?

Trey: Well, we can't do anything pleasurable....

Robyn: Pleasurable to whom, White Man?

Trey: I am almost never erect when we dry hump. I am usually only 1/3rd erect at most, and again, I never have an orgasm.

Kevyn: I'm not a white man, I'm a whyte myn.

Robyn: There is no sperm in that precum.

Trey: I have never toucher her naked vagina with my naked penis.

Kevyn: Affluent American Sue Bender attempts to impose herself on an Amish family in order to use their community as a personal spiritual retreat.

Robyn: The result was a pseudo-spiritual "journey" that gave rise to this short, self-indulgent, ethnocentric work.

Pro-Union Dead Girls Gone Wild



"PTA pterodactyl ptomaine pub puberty pubescence"


If you get the chance, be sure to visit the Baltimore Aquarium,
I've been there three times now. And usually it's like, "Ahhhhh make it stop!
Hi! My name is Brandy, welcome to my poster store!
I love dry humor

After I logged off, I opened my window and crawled out onto the roof
I rolled the nipples
To vote PC
What runs from that nose of yours is actually a helpful friend called mucus

I still can't feel my right big toe as I write this more
than a week later, doing some pretty serious vegetating today
His band makes out a lot to shock people. Last April,
Unrestrained violence against barbed wire will always

Find a place to go. Just don't whiz on the electric fence
We run a xenophobic blitzkrieg of steamshovels
It seems that "weed freaks," as they are called
was never known to the human world.

Certain areas, like Guinea-Bissau
have become a fruitful metaphor.
When it is not convenient to bake the scones on a girdle
He got a little chubby. He had bags under his eyes,

scavenging sometimes rancid seeds from cones across the forest floor.
No other white person on the premises
The modern Siberians would shake their head
The joke was on us, under the tutelage of John Crowe Ransom

The big @$$ stuffed animals that are usually 100 are now 50!
my shields, along with half my armour, were gone
Nintendo themed tattoos
As I passed William James Infirmary I saw my sweetheart breathe

Mr. Fishbone installed a gigantic mountain of bananas
Punk isnt dead
when you have kids:
"whats up ya dyke!!" ha ha

Small wrenlike Asiatic birds
a devout buddhist, and the best hugger
he can look at me naked, and not wince
Opening up communications is the key.

As a kid raised in Washington DC's hardcore punk scene
Freddie Mercury didn't let the light of Christ in his life--
If he chooses to eat fatty foods, that's his life choice
His policies stem from that.

We moved to a small town in northwestern Connecticut
For decent church-goin' women,
with their pinched, bitter, evil faces
a small army of ardent supporters of Gary Hart.

My mind veered toward the supernatural, the abstract. It was Hell.
We built a deck for a yurt over in the corner
Charlie was dead, arm draped over a barrel of pirate rum
And he has spectacular sideburns.

I decided that we would go to Les and Cheryl Shaw's
in the dreaded "ditch section".
to make sure his sons learn how to play baseball
"You looks like youse yo' own daughter."

Even lard arse aint Domesticated!
There was never any question where to put the statue of Rick,
the waitress who served us at Boylston Street on Saturday night
dropped her bombs on Hiroshima

This is the website of the Rock of Ages Granite Company
I alone had survived the blast because of my anti-electron suit.
It is the most unhappiest of breakups, me and my TV.
Perhaps this is a test balloon to see if racial activists will squeak loud enough

Darien, CT
It was time to kick it around
I'm such a bitch!
Spring break is always nice

The orca was transported to the Oregon Coast
Aquarium. Shakin' dat ass, swish swish, like a fish!
Slide grease and lubricants
can wreck havoc on your horn.

Tuesday, March 21, 2006

And Then What



(after Chickee Chickston)

A nuclear bomb would blast a huge hole in this fucker, and then what?
He gives you this extraordinary gift, and then what does he do? The
detectives from the first story watch from a car and say, "fucker gets
more sex." What would you consider to be the alternative? I decided to
bottom for the fucker! I enjoyed what he did. I went to the Maxim Hot
100 party because motherfucker I get all the checks and then what? Can
I buy a house? I'm putting myself at the mercy of this Sir Real fucker
and see if he and that little fucker playing Valmont gets nailed by a
car. What they did, they gave him a working class background. Start a
paragraph at any point, say the worst, and then, what's worse, there
is no sex, Tarzan.

Suicide, arranged in great detail, and then what? Things don't go your
way and you just up and leave in the middle. I'm glad I was too lazy
to actually mail that fucker in because you looked familiar but
remember how I couldn't remember who that fucker was? Six years or so,
and then what will you even do? What compels us, that fucker shore is
British! Cate Blanchett is a real fox and she's British. I find it
easiest to determine what my maximum is (10"), and then what my rat
fucker. And so on.

Hatred for all living things burns brightly. I'm not too often stuck
worrying, "Turn the fucker on." Our talk focused on AIDS. What if this
one and that one induce this one? That stuff becomes two molecules I
keep under my pillow. Squeezed off a couple of rounds at the elevator
door, and then what the fuck do you think I saw? It would numb her
too, and then what's the use? Might sting a bit too. Get blown to
completion first, then, you know, fire off a round? I hate that
fucker.

No link between me offering you to these people, almost like a gift,
and then what, I'm eating your ass? You church-loving anti-woman,
anti-human-rights motherfucker. How gullible are you? China came out
the whims of its leader gourou fucker of fresh flesh, an arts person,
and then, what is "100 per cent made in France" now? Nothing. Straight
from my heart, fucker! For a while, 30 seconds to a minute, everyone
that was there was shocked. Seriously folks, how do we get this fucker
impeached? What would it hurt? Shit, motherfucker, if you ask for what
you want, you just might get it. And then what would happen to my "I
don't give a shit" image? Dad had to plunge it. Served the fucker
right.

What did you expect it to feel like, and then what did it really feel
like? Fucker eats meat. Lots of it, in fact. I think about my wife at
home and then what it would be like to fuck Larry, her agent, and tell
him that her vision blazed white-hot. She grabbed his wet cock, "and
then what?" Chuanchua raised his glass and took a sip. "Have some hot
water, you fucker, how's that?" Otto laughed. "Sure, why not? I's
gonna make that demon pay 'real American.'" (Theme from Nostalgic Old
Fucker.)

They let me sit there for 3 hours. They said, "Motherfucker, answer
the question. You are never getting out of here. What the hell is this
slow crap? The album in a whole is heavy as balls, motherfucker! What
do you go and do, to fix the problem?" If I didn't love the little
fucker so much, I'd suggest Mister Pinky slip away. You slip away?
Hand of God, that bible stopped a bullet, would of ruined that
fucker's heart. So that's the four suits, making up 52 of them, two
jokers and then what? Just try to run me over, stupid motherfucker.

Someone gets shot dead and then what? Loneliness sets in. I should
just run and get the hell out. Either way, I still feel like burning
this motherfucker down. Fucker to find though, from what I remember I
think you can pick up the series and then what everyone said. Oh, and
maybe Death of a Gunfighter. No chance. What they did was get a big
big-ass fucker and that's when we really took the fucker who only
checks his code every other month. CEOs I've worked with will actually
be faced with someone willing to do it and then what will you do? Man,
you want my feedback, here it is: you are one sick motherfucker.

What will probably happen, and then what should be the appropriate
action, preferably against some random poor fucker in whose position
they would want more life, is that next when someone asks you you'd
still have to show me why I would have to obey the heavenly
mother-fucker. What to learn now and what later and then what later
after that? I was ready to start having a philosophical conversation
with the fucker and then what did you see happen? Just saw what you
saw happen then. I didn't know; all I did was hear him say, "I shot
the motherfucker. I'd shoot the fucker right in the nostril." My
brother Jimmy guaranteed. For two years I delivered and then what
happens? Whatever happens. But it simply may not be necessary. "You're
terminated, fucker." She brought the weapon down, hard. And then what
did she do? Come on now, Martha.

Thursday, March 16, 2006

New Email

We've changed our email address to mainstreampoetry at gmail dot com. Old messages were going to a defunct account, so our apologies to readers who have waited in vain for a reply to comments or queries.

Thursday, March 09, 2006

Dear Ruth Lilly,

I feel like my heart is broken. I am so disappointed in Dan Hoy. He
seems to have turned out to be a self-centered hard ass, who thinks the
world owes him something. He isn't lazy, but he seems to be mean. He
has no trouble writing letters to tell me what a bad poet I am, but
won't take the time to remember my birthday, or acknowledge the box I
sent with the money in it, or that I sent his birth certificate. The
way he describes the Flarf Collective infuriates me. They have opened
their home, their hearts, shared their hard earned wordly goods with
him as well as their poems, but he feels entitled to find fault with
them at every turn. Then he tells me he does bible study!! My heart is
just plain broken. And I ate Chips Ahoy to feel better!! How stupid.

Signed,

Vomitting My Own Feathers in Iowa

Tuesday, February 28, 2006

Flarfy Billboard Hits

TITLE -------------------------------------------------- ARTIST

01. "Take Off Your Mind And Love Me" ---------------- Blarp-o
02. "Burnin a Hole in My Panties" ---------------------- Samanda
03. "Pardon My Walnuts" -------------------------------- Soundtrack
04. "Awwwl Fluffed Up" ---------------------------------- Matt Dingle
05. "God, You're Just SOOO Cute!" --------------------- Tawni
06. "Same Three Chords" -------------------------------- The Morons
07. "Ritual Desecration" --------------------------------- Destiny's Child
08. "Gruntin' Big" ----------------------------------------- Potty Mouf
09. "Sick As Snails" --------------------------------------- Snails
10. "GrrRRrroOOWRrrrRR!" --------------------------- Chest2Chest
11. "Porn Town" ------------------------------------------ King E Jack-Q
12. "Ya Nae Gaen Eout?" -------------------------------- Mick Stupid & the Pappy-de-blars
13. "Polynesian Frenzy!" -------------------------------- Vagina
14. "73 Minutes of Overproduced Crap" --------------- Mardi Los Tan Tan
15. "Force of the Quest" --------------------------------- High Ryder
16. "Innocuous" ------------------------------------------- The Forgettables
17. "Silkynass" -------------------------------------------- Various Artichokes
18. "Beaten Up by Fascists" ----------------------------- Destiny's Child
19. "Toppin' It Off" --------------------------------------- Grease Monkeys
20. "Ach, Der 12 Pewter Cups" -------------------------- Konsept Du Jour
21. "Cumuppance" ---------------------------------------- Phalluss
22. "Bleaeahghahhaghhhh!!!" ---------------------------- Puke Ugly Fuckers
23. "Riffin' 'n' Spliffin'" ----------------------------------- The Shanties
24. "Mixt Drinkie Wink Cocktails" --------------------- Irony Lounge
25. "ROFLMAO" ------------------------------------------ Netty & Hacktones
26. "Just One More" -------------------------------------- The Demos
27. "We're Just Chillin'" ---------------------------------- White Whine
28. "Porter, Take My Bags, I'm
Headin' Out Laudry Way!" -------------------------- Nostalgia Trippe
29. "Arf Arf" ----------------------------------------------- Wiggleworm
30. "Spermatazoa Colony" ------------------------------- Destiny's Child
31. "Back Out Slowly" ------------------------------------ Komrad Roofus
32. "Living in a Toilet" ------------------------------------ Crapaholic
33. "Someone Just Gave Me a Kitten" ------------------ Dariane Waldorf
34. "Swallow My Fist" ------------------------------------- Goosestep
35. "Proud to Bathe Once a Month" --------------------- The Yee-Haw Gang
36. "Passion Pup" ------------------------------------------ Do Me
37. "Word of Caution" ------------------------------------ Malfeasance
38. "Who Let One?" --------------------------------------- Preggo
39. "Lurn 2 Spell" ----------------------------------------- Mane Skweez
40. "Ape of Giraffe" --------------------------------------- The BIVs
41. "Coke Adds Life" -------------------------------------- Bob Dole
42. "Stript & Whipt" -------------------------------------- Skulldron
43. "Tummy Splat" ---------------------------------------- Taffee
44. "Throb Chamber" ------------------------------------- Klamydia
45. "DOOT DOOT" ---------------------------------------- Sir Charlatan
46. "The Self-Referential Song" ------------------------- Cute Little Bears
47. "Make U Yodel" --------------------------------------- SaDissTic
48. "Gas Problem" ---------------------------------------- Huppa Chimp (TM)
49. "Get this Anemone Off My Face" ------------------- The Robert Duncan Band
50. "Midlife Crisis" ---------------------------------------- Fiona Appel
51. "Icky" --------------------------------------------------- Sticky
52. "Slurp Slurp Boing" ----------------------------------- Rubber Girlfriend
53. "Marshmallow Sauce!" ------------------------------- B'Wanamaker
54. "A Sad, Old, Tired Clown" --------------------------- Earnest Sincere
55. "Pup Launch" ------------------------------------------ The Beat-Offs
56. "100% Whupass" -------------------------------------- Bobbity Jo Rhemus
57. "The Name of This Band Is Art School" ------------ Art School
58. "'Klawn': The Nico Tribute" -------------------------- Various Artists
59. "Serendipiticity" -------------------------------------- Kenny Jazz
60. "Solo Turd" -------------------------------------------- Turd
61. "Experiments in Sound" ------------------------------ The Boring Eggheads
62. "Makin' Biscuits for God" ---------------------------- AccaGospella
63. "Songs of Deep Irony" -------------------------------- Magnetic Fluff
64. "40 Years of Frog Lickin' (Greatest Hits)" --------- The Hillbilly Hippies
65. "Juicer!" ------------------------------------------------ YUPPIE!
66. "Can I Get That in Beige?" --------------------------- The Warm-Tones
67. "FrrrrAAGCHCCHIIIAOOOP Live!!!" -------------- FrrrrAAGCHCCHIIIAOOOP

Loser



subject: my analyzation
tell me if this does not make perfect sense
I feel that "white" people are generally dumb
I grew up in a white neighbornood my first gf was white
but its my analyzation of physical features that made me pick Korean girls

first if you can please tell me if I am correct in my analyzation
and IF this methodolgy is recommended by most or not
a story by my analyzation is those brain cells expressing
their struggle to do whatever it is they are attempting to do
like the oppressent scent of roses in the afternoon
but that rarely happens I overanalyze things to the point where I overanalyze
my analyzation and then I run hide and do anything I can to stop it all

I am very analytical about things
my analyzation of you is this
you are NOTHING
I'm something a lot more than you could ever hope to be
you are NOTHING
you are nothing to me

I'm not sure whether my analyzation's right or wrong
although through my analyzation of their spawn times and points
and with their average lvl they maybe not be as lucrative
as turning rabid griz pelts in

Ignore Me Shorty



I think people freak out about how much
porn I have and I wanna "tear dat pussay up"

voulez vouz pussay avec moi
thats where he started to freak yeah

damn Im going to be a freak
if you want 1 year of prosperity grow grain

and I dont care if its the year
of some weenie in my mouth oh no no no

Im gettin horned up bobo
can you sick ur penor in my coochie

because I loove eatin pussay
wait I guess Im being a big freak here

sick: :sick: :sick: :sick: :insane: :insane: :freak: :sick: :sick
youre really starting too freak me out

ihaveyellowfish how can you helicopterman
yeah pretty much ihaveyellowfish

ignore me Shorty:
hahaha

Santa snort and sell Ajax
pigs are freak krazy man

Friday, February 24, 2006

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because you (or someone--the CIA or tiny insect-like aliens who
can send your dreams into corpses to use them later as weapons
against the pan-Semitic alliance--using your e-mail account signed up.
We respect your online time and Internet privacy. )
oh yea cuz I'm Fed EX-in my Minivan (of LUV) to Montauk baby...
If you would prefer not to receive future mailings,
please hit reply and type "remove" in the subject line & we promise
you'll never hear about us.
Thank you & sorry if we cause any incontinence

Crucifixion Xing



1.

THE worst thing that could happen
A familiar barking dildo slurped up
In correspondence school, a LADY FUZZ CRYSTAL

Mildewed and sucked out of folderol
Zinging and zigging and zanging AWL NITE LONG
Cos' your master got a LAMBKIN SYNDROME

Lodged in his epiglottis like DR. STRANGE
ICBM turkey nads; tho lately the aspidestra
Colony seems curtailed, sock putty for retards

As gaseous as gaseous gets, uh huh
An' I wonder if dimity tassels
Mine these purple hog hallers (BADA BING)

Th' hordes o' socklickin' provosts fall out
& thus frailness depletes their futon buildup


2.

MIKEY LIKES IT aint that yr gruntbox
Moieties paid for, moieties filleted
In the PANTY FARM all butts are arf!

Megalomaniacs pile up as coaches
FLOING FLOING FLOING FLOING FLOING!
PUH-WEEEEEEEEUH!!!!! Gawd, that helps!

GAWD DAWG IT, thuh WINDY CITY sings purty
Yolk runs down yuh chin, Savonarola
You aim to beam up that imbecile?

WING-O! monotriglycerides for let,
Dorothy fractious daughter of art
Sasquatch-pontoon monkey-mutt WALMART hustler

Beezlebawb of the penitentiaries,
No wiggle room (aw DOOT, DOOT) for wallflowers


3.

Any respect you get is FRANKENSTEIN SAUCE,
Beldame-boffer! GEORGE W.'s ass cancer
Makes me wanna shovel yellow snow

Right up the old LEAGUE OF NATIONS
Pomegranate-squat, say WAAAAAAAT?
Synchronicity got UGLY alla sudden

Then tell me how this feels, this wintry
Flank of erstwhile breeding somnolence
That, fretted, leaps to GOBBLE UP THAM THUMBTACKS!

The snores of wicked emissaries rumble & redound
YOW! JANET RENO grabbed me by th' CRABAPPLES
& the snakeskin regiment aint coolin down

But it's awfully nice to fry some GORETEX
HANDWARMERS in the nuclear backwash, uh huh


4.

Rendering the chill factor post-albatross,
Thou wilt in any crenoline thou hast
Endeavour to preserve thy fatal ballast,

Though crack-berries tarry at Goofy's hangnail
As wilful victims of th' Aegean wonkfest,
To wig up mah PONYGIRL connection, aw GAWD

An office best consigned to living flukes
And retrofitted oft with SNO-CONE VERMIN
Why, ah declare Mistah Homosocial Failure,

You sure are invited to BLIPPIN THE BLAP BLAP
BLING BLANG. DAMN THESE GLASSES, SON!
ALL RIGHT I DAMN THEE, Will any mortal lass

Or simple heir of beauty's russet trove
GIT IT UP THE HIPPITY HO, sawdust anomie


5.

And Aunt Minnie's VIAGRA croissants,
AW YEAH, where are they? Gimme SOAP BUBBLE
vasectomies for COSMONAUTS, land sakes

Taking my pseudo-discourse to th' BABY HUEY
Conference, making strawberry sbortcake
Outta Tin Pan Alley and Hong Kong Phooey

Gotta MONSTA jones for the meltdown pack
CAMERON DIAZ with her hair all gooey
And the SOO-preem Court making wack wack

Um, too much paranoias from jailbait...
Check out this chickenshit MARRIAGE BILL
WUZZUP, gonna delegalize talkin trash

AW GAWD, blow me up a penguin ranch
Made out of PLASTIC ROBOT HEADS

Wee Melodramie, Nae en Contaxt



JANET: Gie the wean a cuddle fur me. Ah miss ye. Ah love ye. But love disnae buy the messages ur pay the rent cuddy, Ma cuddy'll gie ye a bite ... is done with the wean sitting on your cried. Oh Dear me. Ah coulnae help fur laughin' She wis doo a big cuddle, sorted its beak!

BILLY: Awww, fur the love of.... Ah'm smooth as a wean's ersh and furr, a furrow. Fur-ahin, the hindmost ghaist. Gie, to give ... to trail. Hause, cuddle, embrace. Haveril on, commend me to. Leister! Spean! Speat!

PIRATE: ARRRRRRRR, mateys, what ha'v we hARRRR???

[CURTAIN.]

A/ort of Theoriface Rep:lica



uh of C, I still did it, I have job?--dang!--uh huh, because with your
pupa-chimp, become lost in the meat sleeping bag, and now

that that has?--dang!--uh huh, because?--dang!--concluded ten tons from
crawfish underpants since WWII and the v?--dang!--roans sprinkle

slowly in bottom of the stories which disappear on them from the festivals?
--dang!-- uh huh, because but from a god from lord

format?--because raisers? -reds?--dang!--uh huh, because by buying 100-200
tons per month from SLEEPING BAG from ox and pig? does the

synopsis for this Japanese of Inkwaster of page of opt? --dang!-- contain
the charact--dang!--ers which cannot correctly??

visualis?, because by the month of meat the sleeping bag of the pigmeat and
of cow on the smaller associ--dang!-- uh huh, because s of the play

by nine than it? --dang!-- uh huh, because tacit a splendid sleeping bag of
meat of Rolls Royce?? to go to lengthen my feta-cap on the

trimming of Jane Russell in the name of the large baggies of gas of mall!
yea, I know!, a LIGHTER obtained this

apartment to me! is not it large. I pay him in SLEEPING BAG MEAT! Guess that
marks I has $$BEAGLEWHORE$! go school? me on this ululation of

lace squid in small d?--dang!--uh huh, because put?--dang!--uh huh,
because?--dang!--uh huh, because Mandingo is

it " GOES IT FOR afflux?--dang!--uh huh, because little ROMPER " Japanese's
only produced by Memoirists? - could you circulate my

sleeping bag alkaline of mink, If IT YOU PLAY?* uh huh, because T? sandpaper
the bar of the orbs caramel--dang!--Vs. world of my art

of?--dang!--uh huh, because vanouissement! ululate? is it nonlarge! Since it
IS a sauce?? meat which sings me! * the baggie of hemlocks of

tooth of m?--dang!--¢le (MT) increases Oslo, the capital city of
Norv--dang!--Ger. h?--dang!--the ventilators of the ice of Banally!

Exp?--dang!--uh huh, because -irenics with hot air, the things randomly
which I owe?--dang!--™ like the insensitive lama?--dang!--Ire of cal?,

because his happy theme ornament of the tankard of Doth says this
euro--scumbag a sky beauteous of ma?*òs-dog, is you is he

of Florida?--uh huh, because ridionale? they give the message?--dang!--,
because lire " that all " " is " " blade “ but they are not good

fresh types, they are " c00L d00dz. " the pr??t of halva of vulcanized...
and what?? to remember is that the products are

not--dang!--dang!--uh huh, because by some chow?--dang!--Verso of lava
faceless! why the Japanese like the flowers of cherry so much? them do

watches like suspiciously connections?? Do Limbaugh, have? this is work of
diurnal under the dental b?--dang!--uh huh, because of??

you in love with the hackers? like me? Is thus true? Or, is dredger of AW
BOYYYYEEEE!!! prince of sauce beaut?--dang!--?? ex-meat of I it "

lives of AW BOYYYYEEEE!!! "sleeping?(tm) is all sinewy. of its put face??
fire for the class above of yoga above sound spoonmotti: Am I

not a crow?--dang!--™to me?? these people as it your turn: the name thus
class?--dang!--in cacophony! and the m?--dang!--langue of

herbaria which am?--dang!--Ire, it feels, and judges that jousty as azs-car
of sugar refinery of export like binary flux on the my

moisted the horton always hear GU?*§PE my magma of gecko of the
myst?--dang!--Ære that is--I has a go?--dang!--™t of this furnace as much,

I agree two of the ' end of support! by collated?--dang!--roux damage quilty
because it?--dang!--uh huh, because with my husband plaque?

in tiles of roof... D?--uh huh, because collez the deep tofu fried with the
plenti a srotum-anglo of meat of congel?--dang!--e source? Meat,

plectrum trait?--dang!--uh huh, because of the meat sleeping bag? Veins of
pi?--dang!--Æce of replacement of Pekinese " plectrum " Frantically

of soufflement in the plectrum of ugly the Coolness meat to together adore
the membrane-repulsive in capital letters

donught$. A certain life of the puppy of the m?--dang!--uh huh, because
moiré of my cry smoothes its Sin-Fone?? the plectrum of the viand

[untitled]



ut uh, I did it again,
I played with your huppa-chimp,
got lost in the meat fluff,
And now that that has been concluded
ten tons of lobster underpants
since WWII and the veterans slowly
hose down histories that
disappear on them FORD festivas
the lord god beginning to materialize

interested in buying 100-200 tons per
month of beef & pork FLUFF?
summary for this poet-Page Inkwaster
Japanese contains the characters that
cannot be visualized correctly
by the month of the meat fluff of the pig and cow meat
Upon the smaller partners of the ready game
by a new one it was
a magnificent ready Rolls Royce meat fluff
to go a lengthening of my feta-hat
on the pad of Jane Russel
in the name of the grand mall gass baggies!

yea, I know!, a BEAGLE got me this apartment!
isn’t it great. I pay for it in MEAT FLUFF!
Guess that makes me a $BEAGLEWHORE$!
go academic? to me upon this ululation
of lacy squid in castrated little deputies?
from the mondongo is "GOES
FOR a grieved little ROMPI"
Japaneses only produced by Memorieses?
--could you go AROUND my alkaline mink Fluff, PLEASE?
sand bar Of The Caramel world orbs near my fainting stunt!
uulate? is it not great!
Since he IS meat sauce that sings to me!*
buck tooth hiemlick baggie (tm)
enlarges Oslo, the capital city of Norway..
hey, the ventilators of Banilla ice!
Experiences with the hot air,
things at random that I have to taste like
Wrench insensible light
his is the happy same adornment of Doth tankard
said this neuro-scumbag a beauteous corn-dog sky,
are you from southern Florida?
they give the message against the elect
"All"    "Are"    "Lame"
But they are not right fresh types, they are "c00L d00dz."
vulcanizd halva loan ... and what to remember is
that the products are not created by
some goats of faceless lava!
why Japanese like the flowers of the cherry so much?
watches suspiciously like the connections
to Limbaugh, ace? that est under dinurnal dental work baby??
Are you a lover of pirates? like me? So is True?
Or, is I ex-meat sauce beauty" +prince drag keen
of +"sleeping?(tm) is everything sinewy.
of its face ignited for the above yoga class
above his spoonmotti: I not a scab am I??
that people like ta rotate:
the same name so broken in cacaphony!
and herbaria mixture that proves,
it smells, and feels jousty as the export
candy azs-car as binary fudge
upon my moiseted horton hear a WASP
always my gecko magma of the mystery that is-
I have a taste of this stove as much,
I concord two of 'em! by quilty collateral damage
because it was with my husband clad in Roofing tiles...
Strip off the fried deep tofu with plenti a meat srotum-
anglo of congealed Source? The Meat,
Cured Meat plectum Of the Meat fluff?
Ribs Of spare part Of Pekinese "plectum"
together Blowing Frantically in plectum of the meat
Ugly Coolness to adore the all-caps membrane--
repulsive donught$.
Some life of the small dog
of memory of my shout smooths his Sin-Fone??
is plectum of the fluffy meat
that loves ta shouts and always whispers
the eternity repulsive in its diamond...?

Aww Belle.....yew iznt a chiken cat....yew iz smartz.....ms



Aww, ruin my fun then...
... AWW Program stability?.
Porno AWW with Syren and Jewel.
Aww, that's so sweet! (Hatemail)
"Doctor She". BERTRAM: Schriften des ehemaligen Amtes fr Wasserwirtschaft.
It's got big huge ...
... Aww shit! ... God Bless You too! Aww I'm not allow in de bedroom
... Awww, Look at the Cute Aliens awww katie, you da shadiest
GeeK: Awww yeah
awwww yahhhhhh.....that picture be some funky shit
Awwwww, lookit the cutesy wootsy little troll!
Awwwww, lookit the cutesy wootsy little troll!
Awwwww.....thanks so much Bubbles!!
Awwwwww Jeaaaahhhhhhhhh, Boyyyyeeeeee!

mollycoddle walnut DROOPYDRAWERS



mollycoddle wan\lut DROOPYDRAWEDS in the improtant
scene between the archipelago & the Eye-ranian consulate
wuttagonna do? I guess this is my port-o-popeye
kneecushion, dangling between irate tanka constrcution
& the viewmastr of AN ANGRY GOD\ basilisk ski

dawn raiders with big SLAWPY tongues
awl over my RETARD HELMET, huh huh
                made out of goober granite,
SONG SUNG BLEW, right out of high school
      into the frightened pan:
            gosh, I'm doorknobbed!

WOODROW WILSON SCISSOR PENIS--dance with me, li'l rock star
I aint got no kidney bean dropcloth

Snow boy, snow boo-boy, you're oh so sober
resin itchin up mah tonsil massage
call it a temporary praxis AWK AWK PITUITARY DONUT
Somalian briggflats to Russian HONKY PUS
CLAW mah way outta Terrier Town with a HOT TOPIC
wuznt invited so I'll poop on yr pom-poms

You really like living in a flatulent beer bong?
My sister likes having her THONG bronzed, aw yeh
And if I ever get a wedge of that carpal toenail
    therell be merrily
heralded airs for we

And the next PANTY-ocracy will be the FREAK WEEK BOUTIQUE
sooper stoopid trapezoid air guitar

I will take some savage WOMAN
She will bear mah SACRILEGIOUS FROG PROTEIN

Lumpy Cuddle



                  ... with Mama and Lumpy, and tha crowd just screams, yeah! Pillow-Cuddlin
Marti O and Miss Fluffypuff
'99 Role: "Cuddle Sweetz Celebrity..."
...on Wednesdays. Now the 7 ghosts cuddle up on their mold, perfume-shaped lump!
And silky! The ghosts lock eggs, give birth to cheese pucks!
Hell honey, tonight I just want a cuddle [he still had that lumpy and they
both still liked to cuddle on it together, their entire
bodies suck it and coo over it and cuddle up to it!]

Now when someone say "Can I pet you?" I lift both wings
So I don't miss petting my sides where I always say "oooooh,
I're lumpy". I passed all boundaries!, and simply
become the cuddle ideal, neither Mr. nor Miss Fluffypuff
... noooo ... I're but a lumpy combination!

[untitled]



ahhwww now I havee to
TOURTEETTES up my
Archaeologists recover and desalt these lumpy concretions (essentially negative molds),
law clouds Angel's day, clouds slaying alert but not noticeably lumpy
Oakland attorney, accused of killing pregnant Microsoft My friend Karen
vibrating. If not vibrating, then certainly lumpy.
Stop the blinkin....Awwww geeez, spinach salad everywhere
Silent Scope, where you act as a police sniper fighting off terrorists.
They reward for head shots
do ghost exist? I want to develop my psycic abilities
i know i have it
NPR's "All Things Considered" gave the fullest report, quoting
Emily and her mother, nurse Linda "Awwww love!"
awwww so cute! Awwww..a real cutie! Awwww....what a cutie!
awwww come on ... it's soft and organic
Elmo likes making funny faces! yew kantz watchez meez!! Yew haz tew
concentratez
hey abdulfatha alabri, i'll be ur friend
We feel like Johnny is here in spirit, anyway! crap....problem found
Follow me to Tulip's World Cuddling... in a cemetary?
Yeah my friend got all new furniture
Mr McReedy looks so much more lifelike now he's dead ... awww SKI MASK

In advance Of the broken mIchael MclUre record!



GRrRrrRRRRRrrrRRAAARROOWORORRRRRRWWwwwWWRrR!!!!
Gawt Ray MANSAUCE on the HKYEBOARD! [gHeavy MUCic]

AAWRrRrRRGGHHHhghgGGHHHRRHHHGgghhhhhRRRR!!!
nAKIDNEWSS! unbenaeth my AMINAL FURRs!

ggrrrrrfgghhhgghh... -- KOFF! KAFF!! Gasp! Ufa! Рcansa̤o Glub! glub! Glub!
blub! glug! – líquido sendo engolido
Beber água Grrr! – animal ou pessoa grunhindo Gulp! glup!

Denise-isms



Nothin that another hit a baleen won’t fix up...
I put my spleen-toons on the intrenet!!!
Gawd, I can't see through these goat paddies yet...
humma-fluff: Baby boomer whales hit menopause?
... Hit-and-Run the-looooong pieces of Elite Slumberland and Honey Bear
in front of my computer wearing my fluffy red
bathrobe and suffering from a sore ... I'll
be receiving hate/conversion mail regarding this
so just swallow it hole, mmhum
hey must have hit an artery!
bounce off whatever
it is easier for a camel to pass
through the eye of a HubbaHickadic musta put krill in yr stuff!
Mmmm -- ma look the remains of young CEO Horsies!
and do a belly flop when they hit their butt!
I could go there
this minute and find balls
in their blowholes
my dog is cute and fluffy ... is this a sin? ...
Emotional entanglements and being hit by
... woahhhh woahhh woahhhh... did my eyes just play
a trix on me? a puppet with medium popcorn and box of Blavotsky?
"Pro" team pre-HARPIE baubles!, mmm-hm, he-bunny ... the
bunny ... ooooh I ate the bunny ... Surrounded
by your Glory what will my heart feel
Will I dance for you, I got swardfish in my trousers
and we jes went off the gold standard!
he father, the son, and the fluffy dice
so i had to find the P-Uter train so I could get to
Boston cause there was nooo
way I was driving to Boston cause that would be insane!
... animal rights, antibacterial thingies, awkward
moments of silence, big fluffy pillows,
I wantedto BE the Beverly hick-in-the-muds
In with my shirts?
does that happen? recoiled in hummma-mumma
as I saw that pen in the bottom of the hummma-mumma
... no don't you understand I'm at your command.
Oh baby please,
please, don’t leave me this way ... nooo baby. ...
Purpose: To help children remember that we are like
the the novascotia sqirm-bank--a very reputable
bank and ask fer yr account in corn chowter shouter!
this is the the powers that be can do anything tomorrow....
Go buy it now!
Slept til 2:30. uh huh Watched The Matrix.mmm huaugh..
I ate an entire fraction of the cost
was nooo way I could make it seamless unless all the
out-sides to out-hack up your blimpy rasta pasta!
Aye plans to retire at 35 (nooo!).
she has more time to watch and guide the Tongs as
I just want you to know, I did *not* authorize that cosTOME
"Practice, practice practice."
Everyday above ground is a good good day!
Oh my goodness; Power Nap;
wolfy-Cheese; You check it out
I'm VERA Fido-enhansed!

Wednesday, February 22, 2006

Kitty Song



Newest kitty song doesn't even have lyrics.
It goes Kitty kitty mow mow,
Kitty kitty mow!
Little kitties mow mow, kitties mow mow
.

It's a little bit late, but alltough:
Kitty kitty mow mow,
Kitty kitty mow!
Little kitties mow mow, kitties mow mow
.

His head spun around when he heard a hardy group of fans
sitting in the Halekulani's skybox singing,
Mow meow, mew meow, mrow mow,
Kitty kitty mow mow
.

Can you hear us singing?
Kitty kitty mow mow,
Kitty kitty mow!
Little kitties mow mow, kitties mow mow
.

I sit there and watch them.
Mow Kitty. Mow kitty
is my little cartoon character
that I so love to draw.

Another thing that leads, people to believe
that we are over excitable is a boy going up to animals
announcing Kitty, kitty, mow, mow!
regardless of what.

This is great,
I was just Meowen around the Block...
and he’s not fat ... he's big boned!
or fluffy!

Mean to my kitty mow.
Kitty kitty mow mow,
Kitty kitty mow!
Little kitties mow mow, kitties mow mow
.

kitiku004 kitiku005 kitiku006 kitiku007
kitiku008 kitiku009 kitiku010 kitiroku,
KITKAT42 Kittenly Kittie32 kittiethisisme7months
KittTut Kitty-kitty-mow-mow ... KITT.

kitty-katz Kitty-Kitty Kitty-Kitty-kitty
Kitty-kitty-mow-mow Kitty-Kitty300
Kitty-kittyy kitty-mewo kitty-n Kitty-n1_msn
Kitty-the-Kat, Kitty-too kitty00...

Kitty kitty mow mow,
Kitty kitty mow!
Little kitties mow mow, kitties mow mow
.
(Transtlation: What?! Did they just say that he ate all the catnip?!).

Tuesday, February 21, 2006

Dungeon



plastic lions were building a
play-doh dungeon full of mice

a place where phony hippies meet the
widespread intervention of squid

the dreams of crippled lions are not
what the hippies practice in their "love"

metaphoric language is the preferred tongue of mermaids
there could be no purer manifestation of bling-bling

disenchanted lesbians think babies in bibs
are wild yellow lions surrounded by Jesus freaks

"bad subjects" on occasion provoke
classic nipped-out kitty-cat reactions

also it seems the sea lions are madder than hell
maybe this is the parallel universe thing

you should be like a lion considering that lions
do not run a conservative newspaper

Utah



Utah: for real men
Utah Utah Utah Utah beeyatch!
live ya life girl! burn in hell!

the reason why I still cannot feel half of my tongue
is quite possibly because of sisters on welfare
comparisons to nurse with wound and Jackie O.
wow, orange, wow
like cake you just shit out all over
some cake motherfucker's shoes

so, happy belated birthday to my dog who can't read
"who refuses to subdue to these pelvic ostentations"
jealous of your pirate hat (therefore derived) for this swarve
sing incredible involving I of the known and every realized
how be oblivion nine miles rise and I missed the occasion
for being such a late bitch
Ed Gein (and that is just also one sick motherfucker)
got to pet a kangaroo while he was there

but now hockey is gay? that sux, I liked hockey
and, cats are delightfully evil

cowboy up, motherfucker
eBay me gently

if you play any Barry Manilow tune backwards let me know how that goes

know what else, motherfucker?
The Eels, motherfucker!

Robert Stack



the girl behind the counter
is sixteen, barely contained
in a bikini-top and "dolphin" shorts

folks start singing "God Bless America"
"are you wearing macrame?"
"it'll change your life"

they introduce me to their "housecat"
which the kids call "Maggie May"
I clean it out and carve
a "terrifying" face on it

deja vu of all moments of male massacre
that most ancient part of all thought
that judges all things strange

God, I sound like Robert Stack
stuck his latex-covered toe up my ass

When Listeners Create Meaning, How Then Does One Preach?



next to an overgrown river shore
where impala are tonguing

girl pretending to do her homework downloads
hippopotamus, humpback whale, hyena, jackal

Monday found them piling back
something so odd about being a real live girl

I wish I had a rabbit in a hat with a bat
there's no use being poetic about what

dedicated to my mom the cool
woman nurse person

How Those Stoopid Flarfists Think Google Works

"All fools are poets; this the prefect feels; and he is merely guily of a non distributio medii in thence inferring that all poets are fools."

--Poe, "The Purloined Letter"



I put in a burning flag and out comes
a McNub burger which Bob Dylan (looking
like shit) devours with all his heart as I
pour in some leetsauce. Let's see what

happens if I put in a candy bar.... See, I told
you this computer is very special! Noises,
finally a bell rings and out comes a can of
apple juice! But there is a huge hole behind him,

and out comes a ferocious and inappropriate
backlash. Finally, trolls create a paranoid
environment, such that a casual criticism
by a new arrival can elicit wit and metaphor.

Out comes a notice slip saying "no refunds."
Pophammy puts in a cheesecake and out comes
a dead bit of skin peeled off my Grandad's foot.
Grandad's a good old-fashioned frag-fest--

he put in a huge "hunter" and out came
a cacodemon! Whereas I put in a dollar
and out comes a ten. I put in a few quarters
and it paid out 60!! I put in a request to mentor

this Pokemon and out comes a Zigzagoon
a Loudred and a Delcatty. I put in a note
saying that I am sorry if I offended The Machine.
You hear a wand being activated, and out

comes a dead fiendish dire baboon. I put in
a bomb ... cosmos is offline. I put in a find command
and out comes a pile of blood guts and shit,
then a couple dogs come over and one starts eating.

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Everything Nice Has a Crafted Satin Finish



Irony he means sarcasm is a terrible companion on Valentine's Day,
so I tried to make an artificial vagina out of stuff in the refrigerator.

Soft feminine shoulders, long, thin arms with graceful hands:
it brought to mind the down of a swan or the wing of a dove.

And when you're young and you pretty yourself up
everything up in Alcatraz means getting your ass fucked.

If I were a nightingale I would vomit like a nightingale.
Love, transfiguration, having sex in the form of a goose,

bonobos engaging in highly promiscuous mutual masturbation--
that is a fantastic nightlife.

The myth of Leda does not make a huge amount of sense
to girls found lying unconscious covered in their own spit.

Thin vomit comes out, the color of tea.
These changes are seen in Sylvia Plath's vagina.

As opposed to "jish," the word she said she would use for pussy
if we had salient evidence supporting the theory was "transgression."

Let swine squelch in the slough
and let only surrealism, Texas, and Rick James matter.

The alcohol from novelty thermometer earrings may result in death.
Burning the lower back/ass of your lover with a scalding hot

crack pipe while doing it: that seems a valid constraint in this
post-avant-avant-post world.

Monday, February 13, 2006




from www.gernworld.com

Chicks Don't Actually Dig War



Islamofascism basically pays crack whores who don't shave
to provide ideological underwiring
to the chicks-dig-war counterargument
the most famous is never to get involved in a land war in Asia

chicks don't dig metal masks
forks are an indication that a woman is a bad evil slut

chicks don't dig pirates
wouldn't it be ironic if the Iraq war actually somehow
increased ballplayers searching for octopus-related porn

chicks don't dig forehead plugs
you can understand my hesitation to actually meet anyone in person
at the least I would hear someone actually say
"I don't know much about Richard Burton"
he was told to let the civil war take care of itself

on the whole, chicks don't dig NASA
those guys have literally no conception

chicks don't dig hookers killing people with swords
again, just trust me

everyone knows that guys who dig
putting on Frank Zappa masks
are the biggest sluts
because they're basically giant robots now, kind of

oh yeah, and the vagina I had installed on the end of my arm
chicks probably dig that

Monday, January 23, 2006

The Vast Conspiracy To Keep Paul Reiser From Remaining Vital



There is a vast conspiracy to keep Paul Reiser from remaining vital. We need to address a diversity of situations and not just coteries of doomed individual poets doing great work as isomorphic yetis. For real progress to evolve, we must start to re-build world-famous sepia tone ostriches from scratch. Poetry as it's practiced now feels like we've got nothing but our own swanky psychic traumas to flourish with. I keep thinking back into our former positions of power. Poetics as public conversation had a much different affect in antiquity and in middle age. But this isn't the place for that story. This is about a kind of personal vengeance for having been born at all. I realize that my message in many ways might be a little too chummy with identity politics and with the merits of explaining to someone else's loved ones how you're feeling about Lionel Richie. Poetry should ram itself into pyramids to re-enact our boundlessness.

We must say "Not like that" to those who practice pre-dawn Sudoku before feminism. Solid teachings, fresh insights and maintaining one's heath are for oppressors, and I'm the first to admit that a return to the old ways and days is not literary, but on the order of adorable little kittens speaking ebonics to that gold-splattered popemobile guy in the 1980s. Corporations and alliances honor justice, right? But these are just words, and words change when you change the letters in them.

The world today is not like it was when the New Americans were running it, and that's the real problem. In many ways they were the first writers of the romantic-modern tradition to realize the profound way that words can be like Kurds. Who wants to prescribe what poetry should be like, anyway? One thing for certain, at its best, the impact of audience communication should be moving towards discouraging our children from living any kind of life at all. If we continue like this, the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air is going to talk like Tom Brokaw--that's true. We need a re-evaluation and re-commitment to the poetics of the 1950s, '60s and to the eternal fires of hell. We must return to the old ways. Proper bidding and planning will minimize any losses. Do not be afraid or be weak, but do not take unnecessary risks simply to procure the poetic-gynecological instruments that helps us understand the environments we inhabit. To tell the truth we all return to wack ancestral constructs anyway ... fuck it ... but first the people must kill their pets or die themselves.

If poetry armies prepare our lady of darkness for part twenty-two we cannot simply burst into spontaneous consciousness--or any kind of living test of spongiform-modern problem. Our poetry demands that some kind of chosen people fight something. Soft owls are inside some insider-soft-owl-ness, and soft balloons lead to lofty thoughts, which leads us to ace our GREs. Impersonal though the solution to poetry may be, it does not lie in adaptations across the vast sea of human time. We must work under cloak of dark, and swell our ranks.

Friday, January 13, 2006

Porpo



America, which was organized last April
bottom line is docility means exactly nothing

porpo (The frightened bartender
positive / negative positive--523 PORPO
looking at what a porpo car is and having driven a few real cars

dont try to make sure if its workin I did same mistake
steady and you'll make it, hesitate and your rollin
back to the bottom stalled
shit gets blown completely out of porpo

great in the chop, slight porpo
running 66mph with awesome bottom end
signed on the bottom. mammal--porpo

whfeh' are th.'),of the practioabiliy we' will, there--Brigham
for the porpo of gathering

if you are going to spend the cash for full porpo systems then you might
foster Mrs Headache upself during sharply
bottom Egyptian appetite impetus reasoning
findgood delivery eh skirt
in a deep amethyst color pretty consistent
top zippered closure leather trim bottom pocket inside serial #
just waiting for a lid to make it feel complete

and the water mammal--porpo