Tuesday, March 21, 2006

And Then What



(after Chickee Chickston)

A nuclear bomb would blast a huge hole in this fucker, and then what?
He gives you this extraordinary gift, and then what does he do? The
detectives from the first story watch from a car and say, "fucker gets
more sex." What would you consider to be the alternative? I decided to
bottom for the fucker! I enjoyed what he did. I went to the Maxim Hot
100 party because motherfucker I get all the checks and then what? Can
I buy a house? I'm putting myself at the mercy of this Sir Real fucker
and see if he and that little fucker playing Valmont gets nailed by a
car. What they did, they gave him a working class background. Start a
paragraph at any point, say the worst, and then, what's worse, there
is no sex, Tarzan.

Suicide, arranged in great detail, and then what? Things don't go your
way and you just up and leave in the middle. I'm glad I was too lazy
to actually mail that fucker in because you looked familiar but
remember how I couldn't remember who that fucker was? Six years or so,
and then what will you even do? What compels us, that fucker shore is
British! Cate Blanchett is a real fox and she's British. I find it
easiest to determine what my maximum is (10"), and then what my rat
fucker. And so on.

Hatred for all living things burns brightly. I'm not too often stuck
worrying, "Turn the fucker on." Our talk focused on AIDS. What if this
one and that one induce this one? That stuff becomes two molecules I
keep under my pillow. Squeezed off a couple of rounds at the elevator
door, and then what the fuck do you think I saw? It would numb her
too, and then what's the use? Might sting a bit too. Get blown to
completion first, then, you know, fire off a round? I hate that
fucker.

No link between me offering you to these people, almost like a gift,
and then what, I'm eating your ass? You church-loving anti-woman,
anti-human-rights motherfucker. How gullible are you? China came out
the whims of its leader gourou fucker of fresh flesh, an arts person,
and then, what is "100 per cent made in France" now? Nothing. Straight
from my heart, fucker! For a while, 30 seconds to a minute, everyone
that was there was shocked. Seriously folks, how do we get this fucker
impeached? What would it hurt? Shit, motherfucker, if you ask for what
you want, you just might get it. And then what would happen to my "I
don't give a shit" image? Dad had to plunge it. Served the fucker
right.

What did you expect it to feel like, and then what did it really feel
like? Fucker eats meat. Lots of it, in fact. I think about my wife at
home and then what it would be like to fuck Larry, her agent, and tell
him that her vision blazed white-hot. She grabbed his wet cock, "and
then what?" Chuanchua raised his glass and took a sip. "Have some hot
water, you fucker, how's that?" Otto laughed. "Sure, why not? I's
gonna make that demon pay 'real American.'" (Theme from Nostalgic Old
Fucker.)

They let me sit there for 3 hours. They said, "Motherfucker, answer
the question. You are never getting out of here. What the hell is this
slow crap? The album in a whole is heavy as balls, motherfucker! What
do you go and do, to fix the problem?" If I didn't love the little
fucker so much, I'd suggest Mister Pinky slip away. You slip away?
Hand of God, that bible stopped a bullet, would of ruined that
fucker's heart. So that's the four suits, making up 52 of them, two
jokers and then what? Just try to run me over, stupid motherfucker.

Someone gets shot dead and then what? Loneliness sets in. I should
just run and get the hell out. Either way, I still feel like burning
this motherfucker down. Fucker to find though, from what I remember I
think you can pick up the series and then what everyone said. Oh, and
maybe Death of a Gunfighter. No chance. What they did was get a big
big-ass fucker and that's when we really took the fucker who only
checks his code every other month. CEOs I've worked with will actually
be faced with someone willing to do it and then what will you do? Man,
you want my feedback, here it is: you are one sick motherfucker.

What will probably happen, and then what should be the appropriate
action, preferably against some random poor fucker in whose position
they would want more life, is that next when someone asks you you'd
still have to show me why I would have to obey the heavenly
mother-fucker. What to learn now and what later and then what later
after that? I was ready to start having a philosophical conversation
with the fucker and then what did you see happen? Just saw what you
saw happen then. I didn't know; all I did was hear him say, "I shot
the motherfucker. I'd shoot the fucker right in the nostril." My
brother Jimmy guaranteed. For two years I delivered and then what
happens? Whatever happens. But it simply may not be necessary. "You're
terminated, fucker." She brought the weapon down, hard. And then what
did she do? Come on now, Martha.

Thursday, March 16, 2006

New Email

We've changed our email address to mainstreampoetry at gmail dot com. Old messages were going to a defunct account, so our apologies to readers who have waited in vain for a reply to comments or queries.

Thursday, March 09, 2006

Dear Ruth Lilly,

I feel like my heart is broken. I am so disappointed in Dan Hoy. He
seems to have turned out to be a self-centered hard ass, who thinks the
world owes him something. He isn't lazy, but he seems to be mean. He
has no trouble writing letters to tell me what a bad poet I am, but
won't take the time to remember my birthday, or acknowledge the box I
sent with the money in it, or that I sent his birth certificate. The
way he describes the Flarf Collective infuriates me. They have opened
their home, their hearts, shared their hard earned wordly goods with
him as well as their poems, but he feels entitled to find fault with
them at every turn. Then he tells me he does bible study!! My heart is
just plain broken. And I ate Chips Ahoy to feel better!! How stupid.

Signed,

Vomitting My Own Feathers in Iowa