Crucifixion Xing

1.

THE worst thing that could happen
A familiar barking dildo slurped up
In correspondence school, a LADY FUZZ CRYSTAL

Mildewed and sucked out of folderol
Zinging and zigging and zanging AWL NITE LONG
Cos' your master got a LAMBKIN SYNDROME

Lodged in his epiglottis like DR. STRANGE
ICBM turkey nads; tho lately the aspidestra
Colony seems curtailed, sock putty for retards

As gaseous as gaseous gets, uh huh
An' I wonder if dimity tassels
Mine these purple hog hallers (BADA BING)

Th' hordes o' socklickin' provosts fall out
& thus frailness depletes their futon buildup


2.

MIKEY LIKES IT aint that yr gruntbox
Moieties paid for, moieties filleted
In the PANTY FARM all butts are arf!

Megalomaniacs pile up as coaches
FLOING FLOING FLOING FLOING FLOING!
PUH-WEEEEEEEEUH!!!!! Gawd, that helps!

GAWD DAWG IT, thuh WINDY CITY sings purty
Yolk runs down yuh chin, Savonarola
You aim to beam up that imbecile?

WING-O! monotriglycerides for let,
Dorothy fractious daughter of art
Sasquatch-pontoon monkey-mutt WALMART hustler

Beezlebawb of the penitentiaries,
No wiggle room (aw DOOT, DOOT) for wallflowers


3.

Any respect you get is FRANKENSTEIN SAUCE,
Beldame-boffer! GEORGE W.'s ass cancer
Makes me wanna shovel yellow snow

Right up the old LEAGUE OF NATIONS
Pomegranate-squat, say WAAAAAAAT?
Synchronicity got UGLY alla sudden

Then tell me how this feels, this wintry
Flank of erstwhile breeding somnolence
That, fretted, leaps to GOBBLE UP THAM THUMBTACKS!

The snores of wicked emissaries rumble & redound
YOW! JANET RENO grabbed me by th' CRABAPPLES
& the snakeskin regiment aint coolin down

But it's awfully nice to fry some GORETEX
HANDWARMERS in the nuclear backwash, uh huh


4.

Rendering the chill factor post-albatross,
Thou wilt in any crenoline thou hast
Endeavour to preserve thy fatal ballast,

Though crack-berries tarry at Goofy's hangnail
As wilful victims of th' Aegean wonkfest,
To wig up mah PONYGIRL connection, aw GAWD

An office best consigned to living flukes
And retrofitted oft with SNO-CONE VERMIN
Why, ah declare Mistah Homosocial Failure,

You sure are invited to BLIPPIN THE BLAP BLAP
BLING BLANG. DAMN THESE GLASSES, SON!
ALL RIGHT I DAMN THEE, Will any mortal lass

Or simple heir of beauty's russet trove
GIT IT UP THE HIPPITY HO, sawdust anomie


5.

And Aunt Minnie's VIAGRA croissants,
AW YEAH, where are they? Gimme SOAP BUBBLE
vasectomies for COSMONAUTS, land sakes

Taking my pseudo-discourse to th' BABY HUEY
Conference, making strawberry sbortcake
Outta Tin Pan Alley and Hong Kong Phooey

Gotta MONSTA jones for the meltdown pack
CAMERON DIAZ with her hair all gooey
And the SOO-preem Court making wack wack

Um, too much paranoias from jailbait...
Check out this chickenshit MARRIAGE BILL
WUZZUP, gonna delegalize talkin trash

AW GAWD, blow me up a penguin ranch
Made out of PLASTIC ROBOT HEADS