Flarfy Billboard Hits

TITLE -------------------------------------------------- ARTIST

01. "Take Off Your Mind And Love Me" ---------------- Blarp-o
02. "Burnin a Hole in My Panties" ---------------------- Samanda
03. "Pardon My Walnuts" -------------------------------- Soundtrack
04. "Awwwl Fluffed Up" ---------------------------------- Matt Dingle
05. "God, You're Just SOOO Cute!" --------------------- Tawni
06. "Same Three Chords" -------------------------------- The Morons
07. "Ritual Desecration" --------------------------------- Destiny's Child
08. "Gruntin' Big" ----------------------------------------- Potty Mouf
09. "Sick As Snails" --------------------------------------- Snails
10. "GrrRRrroOOWRrrrRR!" --------------------------- Chest2Chest
11. "Porn Town" ------------------------------------------ King E Jack-Q
12. "Ya Nae Gaen Eout?" -------------------------------- Mick Stupid & the Pappy-de-blars
13. "Polynesian Frenzy!" -------------------------------- Vagina
14. "73 Minutes of Overproduced Crap" --------------- Mardi Los Tan Tan
15. "Force of the Quest" --------------------------------- High Ryder
16. "Innocuous" ------------------------------------------- The Forgettables
17. "Silkynass" -------------------------------------------- Various Artichokes
18. "Beaten Up by Fascists" ----------------------------- Destiny's Child
19. "Toppin' It Off" --------------------------------------- Grease Monkeys
20. "Ach, Der 12 Pewter Cups" -------------------------- Konsept Du Jour
21. "Cumuppance" ---------------------------------------- Phalluss
22. "Bleaeahghahhaghhhh!!!" ---------------------------- Puke Ugly Fuckers
23. "Riffin' 'n' Spliffin'" ----------------------------------- The Shanties
24. "Mixt Drinkie Wink Cocktails" --------------------- Irony Lounge
25. "ROFLMAO" ------------------------------------------ Netty & Hacktones
26. "Just One More" -------------------------------------- The Demos
27. "We're Just Chillin'" ---------------------------------- White Whine
28. "Porter, Take My Bags, I'm
Headin' Out Laudry Way!" -------------------------- Nostalgia Trippe
29. "Arf Arf" ----------------------------------------------- Wiggleworm
30. "Spermatazoa Colony" ------------------------------- Destiny's Child
31. "Back Out Slowly" ------------------------------------ Komrad Roofus
32. "Living in a Toilet" ------------------------------------ Crapaholic
33. "Someone Just Gave Me a Kitten" ------------------ Dariane Waldorf
34. "Swallow My Fist" ------------------------------------- Goosestep
35. "Proud to Bathe Once a Month" --------------------- The Yee-Haw Gang
36. "Passion Pup" ------------------------------------------ Do Me
37. "Word of Caution" ------------------------------------ Malfeasance
38. "Who Let One?" --------------------------------------- Preggo
39. "Lurn 2 Spell" ----------------------------------------- Mane Skweez
40. "Ape of Giraffe" --------------------------------------- The BIVs
41. "Coke Adds Life" -------------------------------------- Bob Dole
42. "Stript & Whipt" -------------------------------------- Skulldron
43. "Tummy Splat" ---------------------------------------- Taffee
44. "Throb Chamber" ------------------------------------- Klamydia
45. "DOOT DOOT" ---------------------------------------- Sir Charlatan
46. "The Self-Referential Song" ------------------------- Cute Little Bears
47. "Make U Yodel" --------------------------------------- SaDissTic
48. "Gas Problem" ---------------------------------------- Huppa Chimp (TM)
49. "Get this Anemone Off My Face" ------------------- The Robert Duncan Band
50. "Midlife Crisis" ---------------------------------------- Fiona Appel
51. "Icky" --------------------------------------------------- Sticky
52. "Slurp Slurp Boing" ----------------------------------- Rubber Girlfriend
53. "Marshmallow Sauce!" ------------------------------- B'Wanamaker
54. "A Sad, Old, Tired Clown" --------------------------- Earnest Sincere
55. "Pup Launch" ------------------------------------------ The Beat-Offs
56. "100% Whupass" -------------------------------------- Bobbity Jo Rhemus
57. "The Name of This Band Is Art School" ------------ Art School
58. "'Klawn': The Nico Tribute" -------------------------- Various Artists
59. "Serendipiticity" -------------------------------------- Kenny Jazz
60. "Solo Turd" -------------------------------------------- Turd
61. "Experiments in Sound" ------------------------------ The Boring Eggheads
62. "Makin' Biscuits for God" ---------------------------- AccaGospella
63. "Songs of Deep Irony" -------------------------------- Magnetic Fluff
64. "40 Years of Frog Lickin' (Greatest Hits)" --------- The Hillbilly Hippies
65. "Juicer!" ------------------------------------------------ YUPPIE!
66. "Can I Get That in Beige?" --------------------------- The Warm-Tones
67. "FrrrrAAGCHCCHIIIAOOOP Live!!!" -------------- FrrrrAAGCHCCHIIIAOOOP

Loser

subject: my analyzation
tell me if this does not make perfect sense
I feel that "white" people are generally dumb
I grew up in a white neighbornood my first gf was white
but its my analyzation of physical features that made me pick Korean girls

first if you can please tell me if I am correct in my analyzation
and IF this methodolgy is recommended by most or not
a story by my analyzation is those brain cells expressing
their struggle to do whatever it is they are attempting to do
like the oppressent scent of roses in the afternoon
but that rarely happens I overanalyze things to the point where I overanalyze
my analyzation and then I run hide and do anything I can to stop it all

I am very analytical about things
my analyzation of you is this
you are NOTHING
I'm something a lot more than you could ever hope to be
you are NOTHING
you are nothing to me

I'm not sure whether my analyzation's right or wrong
although through my analyzation of their spawn times and points
and with their average lvl they maybe not be as lucrative
as turning rabid griz pelts in

Ignore Me Shorty

I think people freak out about how much
porn I have and I wanna "tear dat pussay up"

voulez vouz pussay avec moi
thats where he started to freak yeah

damn Im going to be a freak
if you want 1 year of prosperity grow grain

and I dont care if its the year
of some weenie in my mouth oh no no no

Im gettin horned up bobo
can you sick ur penor in my coochie

because I loove eatin pussay
wait I guess Im being a big freak here

sick: :sick: :sick: :sick: :insane: :insane: :freak: :sick: :sick
youre really starting too freak me out

ihaveyellowfish how can you helicopterman
yeah pretty much ihaveyellowfish

ignore me Shorty:
hahaha

Santa snort and sell Ajax
pigs are freak krazy man

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Crucifixion Xing

1.

THE worst thing that could happen
A familiar barking dildo slurped up
In correspondence school, a LADY FUZZ CRYSTAL

Mildewed and sucked out of folderol
Zinging and zigging and zanging AWL NITE LONG
Cos' your master got a LAMBKIN SYNDROME

Lodged in his epiglottis like DR. STRANGE
ICBM turkey nads; tho lately the aspidestra
Colony seems curtailed, sock putty for retards

As gaseous as gaseous gets, uh huh
An' I wonder if dimity tassels
Mine these purple hog hallers (BADA BING)

Th' hordes o' socklickin' provosts fall out
& thus frailness depletes their futon buildup


2.

MIKEY LIKES IT aint that yr gruntbox
Moieties paid for, moieties filleted
In the PANTY FARM all butts are arf!

Megalomaniacs pile up as coaches
FLOING FLOING FLOING FLOING FLOING!
PUH-WEEEEEEEEUH!!!!! Gawd, that helps!

GAWD DAWG IT, thuh WINDY CITY sings purty
Yolk runs down yuh chin, Savonarola
You aim to beam up that imbecile?

WING-O! monotriglycerides for let,
Dorothy fractious daughter of art
Sasquatch-pontoon monkey-mutt WALMART hustler

Beezlebawb of the penitentiaries,
No wiggle room (aw DOOT, DOOT) for wallflowers


3.

Any respect you get is FRANKENSTEIN SAUCE,
Beldame-boffer! GEORGE W.'s ass cancer
Makes me wanna shovel yellow snow

Right up the old LEAGUE OF NATIONS
Pomegranate-squat, say WAAAAAAAT?
Synchronicity got UGLY alla sudden

Then tell me how this feels, this wintry
Flank of erstwhile breeding somnolence
That, fretted, leaps to GOBBLE UP THAM THUMBTACKS!

The snores of wicked emissaries rumble & redound
YOW! JANET RENO grabbed me by th' CRABAPPLES
& the snakeskin regiment aint coolin down

But it's awfully nice to fry some GORETEX
HANDWARMERS in the nuclear backwash, uh huh


4.

Rendering the chill factor post-albatross,
Thou wilt in any crenoline thou hast
Endeavour to preserve thy fatal ballast,

Though crack-berries tarry at Goofy's hangnail
As wilful victims of th' Aegean wonkfest,
To wig up mah PONYGIRL connection, aw GAWD

An office best consigned to living flukes
And retrofitted oft with SNO-CONE VERMIN
Why, ah declare Mistah Homosocial Failure,

You sure are invited to BLIPPIN THE BLAP BLAP
BLING BLANG. DAMN THESE GLASSES, SON!
ALL RIGHT I DAMN THEE, Will any mortal lass

Or simple heir of beauty's russet trove
GIT IT UP THE HIPPITY HO, sawdust anomie


5.

And Aunt Minnie's VIAGRA croissants,
AW YEAH, where are they? Gimme SOAP BUBBLE
vasectomies for COSMONAUTS, land sakes

Taking my pseudo-discourse to th' BABY HUEY
Conference, making strawberry sbortcake
Outta Tin Pan Alley and Hong Kong Phooey

Gotta MONSTA jones for the meltdown pack
CAMERON DIAZ with her hair all gooey
And the SOO-preem Court making wack wack

Um, too much paranoias from jailbait...
Check out this chickenshit MARRIAGE BILL
WUZZUP, gonna delegalize talkin trash

AW GAWD, blow me up a penguin ranch
Made out of PLASTIC ROBOT HEADS

Wee Melodramie, Nae en Contaxt

JANET: Gie the wean a cuddle fur me. Ah miss ye. Ah love ye. But love disnae buy the messages ur pay the rent cuddy, Ma cuddy'll gie ye a bite ... is done with the wean sitting on your cried. Oh Dear me. Ah coulnae help fur laughin' She wis doo a big cuddle, sorted its beak!

BILLY: Awww, fur the love of.... Ah'm smooth as a wean's ersh and furr, a furrow. Fur-ahin, the hindmost ghaist. Gie, to give ... to trail. Hause, cuddle, embrace. Haveril on, commend me to. Leister! Spean! Speat!

PIRATE: ARRRRRRRR, mateys, what ha'v we hARRRR???

[CURTAIN.]

A/ort of Theoriface Rep:lica

uh of C, I still did it, I have job?--dang!--uh huh, because with your
pupa-chimp, become lost in the meat sleeping bag, and now

that that has?--dang!--uh huh, because?--dang!--concluded ten tons from
crawfish underpants since WWII and the v?--dang!--roans sprinkle

slowly in bottom of the stories which disappear on them from the festivals?
--dang!-- uh huh, because but from a god from lord

format?--because raisers? -reds?--dang!--uh huh, because by buying 100-200
tons per month from SLEEPING BAG from ox and pig? does the

synopsis for this Japanese of Inkwaster of page of opt? --dang!-- contain
the charact--dang!--ers which cannot correctly??

visualis?, because by the month of meat the sleeping bag of the pigmeat and
of cow on the smaller associ--dang!-- uh huh, because s of the play

by nine than it? --dang!-- uh huh, because tacit a splendid sleeping bag of
meat of Rolls Royce?? to go to lengthen my feta-cap on the

trimming of Jane Russell in the name of the large baggies of gas of mall!
yea, I know!, a LIGHTER obtained this

apartment to me! is not it large. I pay him in SLEEPING BAG MEAT! Guess that
marks I has $$BEAGLEWHORE$! go school? me on this ululation of

lace squid in small d?--dang!--uh huh, because put?--dang!--uh huh,
because?--dang!--uh huh, because Mandingo is

it " GOES IT FOR afflux?--dang!--uh huh, because little ROMPER " Japanese's
only produced by Memoirists? - could you circulate my

sleeping bag alkaline of mink, If IT YOU PLAY?* uh huh, because T? sandpaper
the bar of the orbs caramel--dang!--Vs. world of my art

of?--dang!--uh huh, because vanouissement! ululate? is it nonlarge! Since it
IS a sauce?? meat which sings me! * the baggie of hemlocks of

tooth of m?--dang!--¢le (MT) increases Oslo, the capital city of
Norv--dang!--Ger. h?--dang!--the ventilators of the ice of Banally!

Exp?--dang!--uh huh, because -irenics with hot air, the things randomly
which I owe?--dang!--™ like the insensitive lama?--dang!--Ire of cal?,

because his happy theme ornament of the tankard of Doth says this
euro--scumbag a sky beauteous of ma?*òs-dog, is you is he

of Florida?--uh huh, because ridionale? they give the message?--dang!--,
because lire " that all " " is " " blade “ but they are not good

fresh types, they are " c00L d00dz. " the pr??t of halva of vulcanized...
and what?? to remember is that the products are

not--dang!--dang!--uh huh, because by some chow?--dang!--Verso of lava
faceless! why the Japanese like the flowers of cherry so much? them do

watches like suspiciously connections?? Do Limbaugh, have? this is work of
diurnal under the dental b?--dang!--uh huh, because of??

you in love with the hackers? like me? Is thus true? Or, is dredger of AW
BOYYYYEEEE!!! prince of sauce beaut?--dang!--?? ex-meat of I it "

lives of AW BOYYYYEEEE!!! "sleeping?(tm) is all sinewy. of its put face??
fire for the class above of yoga above sound spoonmotti: Am I

not a crow?--dang!--™to me?? these people as it your turn: the name thus
class?--dang!--in cacophony! and the m?--dang!--langue of

herbaria which am?--dang!--Ire, it feels, and judges that jousty as azs-car
of sugar refinery of export like binary flux on the my

moisted the horton always hear GU?*§PE my magma of gecko of the
myst?--dang!--Ære that is--I has a go?--dang!--™t of this furnace as much,

I agree two of the ' end of support! by collated?--dang!--roux damage quilty
because it?--dang!--uh huh, because with my husband plaque?

in tiles of roof... D?--uh huh, because collez the deep tofu fried with the
plenti a srotum-anglo of meat of congel?--dang!--e source? Meat,

plectrum trait?--dang!--uh huh, because of the meat sleeping bag? Veins of
pi?--dang!--Æce of replacement of Pekinese " plectrum " Frantically

of soufflement in the plectrum of ugly the Coolness meat to together adore
the membrane-repulsive in capital letters

donught$. A certain life of the puppy of the m?--dang!--uh huh, because
moiré of my cry smoothes its Sin-Fone?? the plectrum of the viand

[untitled]

ut uh, I did it again,
I played with your huppa-chimp,
got lost in the meat fluff,
And now that that has been concluded
ten tons of lobster underpants
since WWII and the veterans slowly
hose down histories that
disappear on them FORD festivas
the lord god beginning to materialize

interested in buying 100-200 tons per
month of beef & pork FLUFF?
summary for this poet-Page Inkwaster
Japanese contains the characters that
cannot be visualized correctly
by the month of the meat fluff of the pig and cow meat
Upon the smaller partners of the ready game
by a new one it was
a magnificent ready Rolls Royce meat fluff
to go a lengthening of my feta-hat
on the pad of Jane Russel
in the name of the grand mall gass baggies!

yea, I know!, a BEAGLE got me this apartment!
isn’t it great. I pay for it in MEAT FLUFF!
Guess that makes me a $BEAGLEWHORE$!
go academic? to me upon this ululation
of lacy squid in castrated little deputies?
from the mondongo is "GOES
FOR a grieved little ROMPI"
Japaneses only produced by Memorieses?
--could you go AROUND my alkaline mink Fluff, PLEASE?
sand bar Of The Caramel world orbs near my fainting stunt!
uulate? is it not great!
Since he IS meat sauce that sings to me!*
buck tooth hiemlick baggie (tm)
enlarges Oslo, the capital city of Norway..
hey, the ventilators of Banilla ice!
Experiences with the hot air,
things at random that I have to taste like
Wrench insensible light
his is the happy same adornment of Doth tankard
said this neuro-scumbag a beauteous corn-dog sky,
are you from southern Florida?
they give the message against the elect
"All"    "Are"    "Lame"
But they are not right fresh types, they are "c00L d00dz."
vulcanizd halva loan ... and what to remember is
that the products are not created by
some goats of faceless lava!
why Japanese like the flowers of the cherry so much?
watches suspiciously like the connections
to Limbaugh, ace? that est under dinurnal dental work baby??
Are you a lover of pirates? like me? So is True?
Or, is I ex-meat sauce beauty" +prince drag keen
of +"sleeping?(tm) is everything sinewy.
of its face ignited for the above yoga class
above his spoonmotti: I not a scab am I??
that people like ta rotate:
the same name so broken in cacaphony!
and herbaria mixture that proves,
it smells, and feels jousty as the export
candy azs-car as binary fudge
upon my moiseted horton hear a WASP
always my gecko magma of the mystery that is-
I have a taste of this stove as much,
I concord two of 'em! by quilty collateral damage
because it was with my husband clad in Roofing tiles...
Strip off the fried deep tofu with plenti a meat srotum-
anglo of congealed Source? The Meat,
Cured Meat plectum Of the Meat fluff?
Ribs Of spare part Of Pekinese "plectum"
together Blowing Frantically in plectum of the meat
Ugly Coolness to adore the all-caps membrane--
repulsive donught$.
Some life of the small dog
of memory of my shout smooths his Sin-Fone??
is plectum of the fluffy meat
that loves ta shouts and always whispers
the eternity repulsive in its diamond...?

Aww Belle.....yew iznt a chiken cat....yew iz smartz.....ms

Aww, ruin my fun then...
... AWW Program stability?.
Porno AWW with Syren and Jewel.
Aww, that's so sweet! (Hatemail)
"Doctor She". BERTRAM: Schriften des ehemaligen Amtes fr Wasserwirtschaft.
It's got big huge ...
... Aww shit! ... God Bless You too! Aww I'm not allow in de bedroom
... Awww, Look at the Cute Aliens awww katie, you da shadiest
GeeK: Awww yeah
awwww yahhhhhh.....that picture be some funky shit
Awwwww, lookit the cutesy wootsy little troll!
Awwwww, lookit the cutesy wootsy little troll!
Awwwww.....thanks so much Bubbles!!
Awwwwww Jeaaaahhhhhhhhh, Boyyyyeeeeee!

mollycoddle walnut DROOPYDRAWERS

mollycoddle wan\lut DROOPYDRAWEDS in the improtant
scene between the archipelago & the Eye-ranian consulate
wuttagonna do? I guess this is my port-o-popeye
kneecushion, dangling between irate tanka constrcution
& the viewmastr of AN ANGRY GOD\ basilisk ski

dawn raiders with big SLAWPY tongues
awl over my RETARD HELMET, huh huh
                made out of goober granite,
SONG SUNG BLEW, right out of high school
      into the frightened pan:
            gosh, I'm doorknobbed!

WOODROW WILSON SCISSOR PENIS--dance with me, li'l rock star
I aint got no kidney bean dropcloth

Snow boy, snow boo-boy, you're oh so sober
resin itchin up mah tonsil massage
call it a temporary praxis AWK AWK PITUITARY DONUT
Somalian briggflats to Russian HONKY PUS
CLAW mah way outta Terrier Town with a HOT TOPIC
wuznt invited so I'll poop on yr pom-poms

You really like living in a flatulent beer bong?
My sister likes having her THONG bronzed, aw yeh
And if I ever get a wedge of that carpal toenail
    therell be merrily
heralded airs for we

And the next PANTY-ocracy will be the FREAK WEEK BOUTIQUE
sooper stoopid trapezoid air guitar

I will take some savage WOMAN
She will bear mah SACRILEGIOUS FROG PROTEIN

Lumpy Cuddle

                  ... with Mama and Lumpy, and tha crowd just screams, yeah! Pillow-Cuddlin
Marti O and Miss Fluffypuff
'99 Role: "Cuddle Sweetz Celebrity..."
...on Wednesdays. Now the 7 ghosts cuddle up on their mold, perfume-shaped lump!
And silky! The ghosts lock eggs, give birth to cheese pucks!
Hell honey, tonight I just want a cuddle [he still had that lumpy and they
both still liked to cuddle on it together, their entire
bodies suck it and coo over it and cuddle up to it!]

Now when someone say "Can I pet you?" I lift both wings
So I don't miss petting my sides where I always say "oooooh,
I're lumpy". I passed all boundaries!, and simply
become the cuddle ideal, neither Mr. nor Miss Fluffypuff
... noooo ... I're but a lumpy combination!

[untitled]

ahhwww now I havee to
TOURTEETTES up my
Archaeologists recover and desalt these lumpy concretions (essentially negative molds),
law clouds Angel's day, clouds slaying alert but not noticeably lumpy
Oakland attorney, accused of killing pregnant Microsoft My friend Karen
vibrating. If not vibrating, then certainly lumpy.
Stop the blinkin....Awwww geeez, spinach salad everywhere
Silent Scope, where you act as a police sniper fighting off terrorists.
They reward for head shots
do ghost exist? I want to develop my psycic abilities
i know i have it
NPR's "All Things Considered" gave the fullest report, quoting
Emily and her mother, nurse Linda "Awwww love!"
awwww so cute! Awwww..a real cutie! Awwww....what a cutie!
awwww come on ... it's soft and organic
Elmo likes making funny faces! yew kantz watchez meez!! Yew haz tew
concentratez
hey abdulfatha alabri, i'll be ur friend
We feel like Johnny is here in spirit, anyway! crap....problem found
Follow me to Tulip's World Cuddling... in a cemetary?
Yeah my friend got all new furniture
Mr McReedy looks so much more lifelike now he's dead ... awww SKI MASK

In advance Of the broken mIchael MclUre record!

GRrRrrRRRRRrrrRRAAARROOWORORRRRRRWWwwwWWRrR!!!!
Gawt Ray MANSAUCE on the HKYEBOARD! [gHeavy MUCic]

AAWRrRrRRGGHHHhghgGGHHHRRHHHGgghhhhhRRRR!!!
nAKIDNEWSS! unbenaeth my AMINAL FURRs!

ggrrrrrfgghhhgghh... -- KOFF! KAFF!! Gasp! Ufa! – cansaço Glub! glub! Glub!
blub! glug! – líquido sendo engolido
Beber água Grrr! – animal ou pessoa grunhindo Gulp! glup!

Denise-isms

Nothin that another hit a baleen won’t fix up...
I put my spleen-toons on the intrenet!!!
Gawd, I can't see through these goat paddies yet...
humma-fluff: Baby boomer whales hit menopause?
... Hit-and-Run the-looooong pieces of Elite Slumberland and Honey Bear
in front of my computer wearing my fluffy red
bathrobe and suffering from a sore ... I'll
be receiving hate/conversion mail regarding this
so just swallow it hole, mmhum
hey must have hit an artery!
bounce off whatever
it is easier for a camel to pass
through the eye of a HubbaHickadic musta put krill in yr stuff!
Mmmm -- ma look the remains of young CEO Horsies!
and do a belly flop when they hit their butt!
I could go there
this minute and find balls
in their blowholes
my dog is cute and fluffy ... is this a sin? ...
Emotional entanglements and being hit by
... woahhhh woahhh woahhhh... did my eyes just play
a trix on me? a puppet with medium popcorn and box of Blavotsky?
"Pro" team pre-HARPIE baubles!, mmm-hm, he-bunny ... the
bunny ... ooooh I ate the bunny ... Surrounded
by your Glory what will my heart feel
Will I dance for you, I got swardfish in my trousers
and we jes went off the gold standard!
he father, the son, and the fluffy dice
so i had to find the P-Uter train so I could get to
Boston cause there was nooo
way I was driving to Boston cause that would be insane!
... animal rights, antibacterial thingies, awkward
moments of silence, big fluffy pillows,
I wantedto BE the Beverly hick-in-the-muds
In with my shirts?
does that happen? recoiled in hummma-mumma
as I saw that pen in the bottom of the hummma-mumma
... no don't you understand I'm at your command.
Oh baby please,
please, don’t leave me this way ... nooo baby. ...
Purpose: To help children remember that we are like
the the novascotia sqirm-bank--a very reputable
bank and ask fer yr account in corn chowter shouter!
this is the the powers that be can do anything tomorrow....
Go buy it now!
Slept til 2:30. uh huh Watched The Matrix.mmm huaugh..
I ate an entire fraction of the cost
was nooo way I could make it seamless unless all the
out-sides to out-hack up your blimpy rasta pasta!
Aye plans to retire at 35 (nooo!).
she has more time to watch and guide the Tongs as
I just want you to know, I did *not* authorize that cosTOME
"Practice, practice practice."
Everyday above ground is a good good day!
Oh my goodness; Power Nap;
wolfy-Cheese; You check it out
I'm VERA Fido-enhansed!

Kitty Song

Newest kitty song doesn't even have lyrics.
It goes Kitty kitty mow mow,
Kitty kitty mow!
Little kitties mow mow, kitties mow mow.

It's a little bit late, but alltough:
Kitty kitty mow mow,
Kitty kitty mow!
Little kitties mow mow, kitties mow mow.

His head spun around when he heard a hardy group of fans
sitting in the Halekulani's skybox singing,
Mow meow, mew meow, mrow mow,
Kitty kitty mow mow.

Can you hear us singing?
Kitty kitty mow mow,
Kitty kitty mow!
Little kitties mow mow, kitties mow mow.

I sit there and watch them.
Mow Kitty. Mow kitty
is my little cartoon character
that I so love to draw.

Another thing that leads, people to believe
that we are over excitable is a boy going up to animals
announcing Kitty, kitty, mow, mow!
regardless of what.

This is great,
I was just Meowen around the Block...
and he’s not fat ... he's big boned!
or fluffy!

Mean to my kitty mow.
Kitty kitty mow mow,
Kitty kitty mow!
Little kitties mow mow, kitties mow mow.

kitiku004 kitiku005 kitiku006 kitiku007
kitiku008 kitiku009 kitiku010 kitiroku,
KITKAT42 Kittenly Kittie32 kittiethisisme7months
KittTut Kitty-kitty-mow-mow ... KITT.

kitty-katz Kitty-Kitty Kitty-Kitty-kitty
Kitty-kitty-mow-mow Kitty-Kitty300
Kitty-kittyy kitty-mewo kitty-n Kitty-n1_msn
Kitty-the-Kat, Kitty-too kitty00...

Kitty kitty mow mow,
Kitty kitty mow!
Little kitties mow mow, kitties mow mow.
(Transtlation: What?! Did they just say that he ate all the catnip?!).

Dungeon

plastic lions were building a
play-doh dungeon full of mice

a place where phony hippies meet the
widespread intervention of squid

the dreams of crippled lions are not
what the hippies practice in their "love"

metaphoric language is the preferred tongue of mermaids
there could be no purer manifestation of bling-bling

disenchanted lesbians think babies in bibs
are wild yellow lions surrounded by Jesus freaks

"bad subjects" on occasion provoke
classic nipped-out kitty-cat reactions

also it seems the sea lions are madder than hell
maybe this is the parallel universe thing

you should be like a lion considering that lions
do not run a conservative newspaper

Utah

Utah: for real men
Utah Utah Utah Utah beeyatch!
live ya life girl! burn in hell!

the reason why I still cannot feel half of my tongue
is quite possibly because of sisters on welfare
comparisons to nurse with wound and Jackie O.
wow, orange, wow
like cake you just shit out all over
some cake motherfucker's shoes

so, happy belated birthday to my dog who can't read
"who refuses to subdue to these pelvic ostentations"
jealous of your pirate hat (therefore derived) for this swarve
sing incredible involving I of the known and every realized
how be oblivion nine miles rise and I missed the occasion
for being such a late bitch
Ed Gein (and that is just also one sick motherfucker)
got to pet a kangaroo while he was there

but now hockey is gay? that sux, I liked hockey
and, cats are delightfully evil

cowboy up, motherfucker
eBay me gently

if you play any Barry Manilow tune backwards let me know how that goes

know what else, motherfucker?
The Eels, motherfucker!

Robert Stack

the girl behind the counter
is sixteen, barely contained
in a bikini-top and "dolphin" shorts

folks start singing "God Bless America"
"are you wearing macrame?"
"it'll change your life"

they introduce me to their "housecat"
which the kids call "Maggie May"
I clean it out and carve
a "terrifying" face on it

deja vu of all moments of male massacre
that most ancient part of all thought
that judges all things strange

God, I sound like Robert Stack
stuck his latex-covered toe up my ass

When Listeners Create Meaning, How Then Does One Preach?

next to an overgrown river shore
where impala are tonguing

girl pretending to do her homework downloads
hippopotamus, humpback whale, hyena, jackal

Monday found them piling back
something so odd about being a real live girl

I wish I had a rabbit in a hat with a bat
there's no use being poetic about what

dedicated to my mom the cool
woman nurse person

How Those Stoopid Flarfists Think Google Works

"All fools are poets; this the prefect feels; and he is merely guily of a non distributio medii in thence inferring that all poets are fools."

--Poe, "The Purloined Letter"



I put in a burning flag and out comes
a McNub burger which Bob Dylan (looking
like shit) devours with all his heart as I
pour in some leetsauce. Let's see what

happens if I put in a candy bar.... See, I told
you this computer is very special! Noises,
finally a bell rings and out comes a can of
apple juice! But there is a huge hole behind him,

and out comes a ferocious and inappropriate
backlash. Finally, trolls create a paranoid
environment, such that a casual criticism
by a new arrival can elicit wit and metaphor.

Out comes a notice slip saying "no refunds."
Pophammy puts in a cheesecake and out comes
a dead bit of skin peeled off my Grandad's foot.
Grandad's a good old-fashioned frag-fest--

he put in a huge "hunter" and out came
a cacodemon! Whereas I put in a dollar
and out comes a ten. I put in a few quarters
and it paid out 60!! I put in a request to mentor

this Pokemon and out comes a Zigzagoon
a Loudred and a Delcatty. I put in a note
saying that I am sorry if I offended The Machine.
You hear a wand being activated, and out

comes a dead fiendish dire baboon. I put in
a bomb ... cosmos is offline. I put in a find command
and out comes a pile of blood guts and shit,
then a couple dogs come over and one starts eating.

Everything Nice Has a Crafted Satin Finish

Irony he means sarcasm is a terrible companion on Valentine's Day,
so I tried to make an artificial vagina out of stuff in the refrigerator.

Soft feminine shoulders, long, thin arms with graceful hands:
it brought to mind the down of a swan or the wing of a dove.

And when you're young and you pretty yourself up
everything up in Alcatraz means getting your ass fucked.

If I were a nightingale I would vomit like a nightingale.
Love, transfiguration, having sex in the form of a goose,

bonobos engaging in highly promiscuous mutual masturbation--
that is a fantastic nightlife.

The myth of Leda does not make a huge amount of sense
to girls found lying unconscious covered in their own spit.

Thin vomit comes out, the color of tea.
These changes are seen in Sylvia Plath's vagina.

As opposed to "jish," the word she said she would use for pussy
if we had salient evidence supporting the theory was "transgression."

Let swine squelch in the slough
and let only surrealism, Texas, and Rick James matter.

The alcohol from novelty thermometer earrings may result in death.
Burning the lower back/ass of your lover with a scalding hot

crack pipe while doing it: that seems a valid constraint in this
post-avant-avant-post world.

from www.gernworld.com

Chicks Don't Actually Dig War

Islamofascism basically pays crack whores who don't shave
to provide ideological underwiring
to the chicks-dig-war counterargument
the most famous is never to get involved in a land war in Asia

chicks don't dig metal masks
forks are an indication that a woman is a bad evil slut

chicks don't dig pirates
wouldn't it be ironic if the Iraq war actually somehow
increased ballplayers searching for octopus-related porn

chicks don't dig forehead plugs
you can understand my hesitation to actually meet anyone in person
at the least I would hear someone actually say
"I don't know much about Richard Burton"
he was told to let the civil war take care of itself

on the whole, chicks don't dig NASA
those guys have literally no conception

chicks don't dig hookers killing people with swords
again, just trust me

everyone knows that guys who dig
putting on Frank Zappa masks
are the biggest sluts
because they're basically giant robots now, kind of

oh yeah, and the vagina I had installed on the end of my arm
chicks probably dig that