Wednesday, February 19, 2003

Ambush Makeover

Meeting-turned-ambush: "this place could use a makeover."
France has always been obstreperous
about bullshit mascara. Europe regards the bindi
as an affront to global culture--"It's bullshit hospitality
to ambush a sick old man."

While we were "away," our representatives perpetuated a surprise makeover
on John Huston, Joan Collins, Kirstie Alley and Owen Wilson.
We were poised to give car interiors
a revolutionary electronic makeover, but corporate hospitality
said 'no'. "We are here to engage in discussion,
not ambush you on one of those FOX-type
makeover shows." Bullshit--they want the promise

...all Islamic factions
enjoyed a free full-body makeover. "Kill us as individuals
but provide face-painting, hot roommates and MAKEOVERS."
...I think I need a makeover ... 8 minute mind/body makeover ... new roommates
camaraderie's fantastic up in corporate hospitality
...Communists ... metalheads ... "ambush marketers" ... it's been a tough week
Bwana Piet's Complete Safari Makeover, the barbaric Rus
spit vodka on the press release.
Negotiated options:

we ambush you at home
and then everyone in the studio audience
Military haircut, corporate mascara.
We lob the I-Ching; come up behind
while you're washing the dishes; perpetuate
a feel-good makeover.

Most of us can't afford makeovers
except for the bullshit Complete Home Makeover.
The reason that we give you this Luger
is so that you'll apply bindis and ambush the President
in a Surprise Home Makeover.
Ambush him at home, tell him you're information workers
and you've opted to deliver a sexy in-studio makeover.
He seems to be just waiting, washing dishes. Come up behind
where he can't use his ninja.
Cellulite beautiful skin nails full-body Sensual Makeover!!!

An "ambush" disguised as a ... [makeover]
(Gush Katif Woman
Dies In Ambush on Road Near)
...chunky ribbed jacket ... Ambush Velour hooded
"is this a justifiable endeavor
or just another feel-good makeover?"

petulant, do-able border makeover
beatings with soap and stockings across the eyes
'you GOTTA redo your body'

French theory's bullshit--how 'bout a makeover?
Kwanzaa was a bust--down for a makeover?
Turned from paradigm myth
to just a year and a half: Soldiers killed,
CIA wounded
Snowmass Golf Club: Story of a Complete Makeover.
Two Indian officers killed in Kashmir ambush
Indonesian Army Seeks Image Makover
Dad, daughter shot: give your Bedroom
a Makeover with
our Helpful Advice

Marketing ... hello ...
"I'm so sorry to do this to you
in front of others ... my intention is not to ambush you
but engage in a discussion. It's the only
way I know
(concealed armed bandits who ambush
passing cars...) "They're probably still there, thinking
they can fool us into believing they've gone
so they can ambush us..."

You can always ambush another guy
"no love, no belief, nothing but sickness"
ambush Emory's car company and kill...
there'll be nothing but dreams
up in corporate hospitality
... a view of new worlds ...

"No, cancel that, how about just a makeover???