Cheney Quartet

1.

Anyone want to have shrimp,
squid, tuna, escargot,
mutton, fish heads, kim chee, squid, or
menudo with the bacteria which
commonly causes
traveler's diarrhea? Colin Powell
or Dick Cheney? It’s official George W.
has chosen Dick Cheney to be better
to take for my diarrhea. Another random K.

2.

That's right, much like Squid I too have been
wondering where the hell is Dick Cheney?
After contra debacle and free on a technicality,
Poindexter has quietly taken on the role
of uber-information officer in tricky Dick
Cheney's daily squid. "There was no squid
pro quo." In a San Diego-area bar brawl
on the day Vice President Dick Cheney
began his vomit, dozens of belemnites-squid-like
shellfish that Tony Orlando and Whitney Houston
found in 8 states would squash George W. Bush,
Dick Cheney, Donald Rumsfeld and all the other
Suited Butchers. 90 TONS OF SQUID TO BE DESTROYED...
PROOF THAT CIA FUNDS THE DRUG TRADE!

3.

Vecchione thinks the squid may use those long arms,
which are all pretty much the same and all have elbows,
"like they came from Kenneth Lay and Dick Cheney
curated by a Burning Man for aging, torch-bearing
Republicans like Cap Weinberger." Never poke a squid.
Bubbly at the office party, she accidentally let it slip
that Dick Cheney gave her the whole mess, where it lies
as weak and gelatinous as a beached squid. This is part
three of a four-part Dick Cheney Week. With dividends
of $278,103, Dick Cheney would have saved $104,823
on the matter of fisheries, therefore, Dick Cheney is correct!?
Only Picasso’s portrait in squid sauce will be taken to a safe
place. Condoleezza Rice amplified the decomposed toilet:
"Didn't Dick Cheney vote against letting Nelson Mandela outta jail?"

4.

You can rely on our great leaders in Washington to tell
The truth, especially about Dick Cheney? Get your head
Out of your ass for once in your life, will you? (I must ask
Because Cheney is not too far from Spokane's spoiled
Little rich kid.) You who think this problem has a surplus
(Ask Dick Cheney ... he knows), get your head out of your

Ass and read. Where did you see me? Working a 9/5 job
ANYONE can do. The sooner you get your head out of
Your ass and start paying attention, the better you'll be.
Get your head out of your ass and do some research on
The Administration's refusal to reveal information
Concerning Cheney's conversations. Cheney will not be

Asking our permission, so if you love pizza and hate
Terrorism, get your head out of your ass and get Enron,
WorldCom, Merck, Reliant, and Martha Stewart. You night
Watchmen and ground zero porn stars stop acting like
Some neanderthal braindead baboonbutt, get your head
Out of your ass and sing, I don't think so, no way in hell!

Why They Hate Us So Much

The New Yorker said, “Gimme a fork.” The chief was puzzled, but he gave him a fork. The New Yorker took the fork and started jabbing himself. The New Yorker says, “Gimme a fork and be quick about it, I don’t like to wait.” The chief is puzzled but sends a native to go and get a fork. The New Yorker blows his brains out. The New Yorker says, “Gimme a fork.” The chief is puzzled, but he shrugs and gives him a fork. The New Yorker shoots himself. The Texan says, “Gimme a fork.” The chief is puzzled, but he shrugs and gives him a fork. The Texan takes his brains out. The New Yorker says, “Gimme a fork.” The chief is puzzled, but he shrugs and gives him a fork. The New Yorker pulls the trigger. The American says, “Gimme a fork!” The chief is puzzled, but shrugs and gives him a fork. The American takes his brains out. The Irishman says, “Gimme a fork.” The chief is puzzled, but he shrugs and gives him a fork. The Irishman takes his brains out. The Greek says, “Gimme a fork palio indiane.” The chief is puzzled, but he shrugs and gives him a fork. The Greek blows his brains out. The Samoan says, “Gimme a fork.” The chief is puzzled, but he shrugs and gives him a fork. The Samoan takes his brains out. The Dutchman says, “Gimme a fork.” The chief is puzzled, but he shrugs and gives him a fork. The Dutchman takes his brains out. The American says, “Gimme a fork.” The chief is puzzled, but he shrugs and gives him a fork. The American takes his brains out. The Vietnameseman says “Gimme a fork.” The chief is puzzled, but he shrugs and gives him a fork. The Vietnameseman blows his brains out. The New Yorker says, “Gimme a fork.” The chief is puzzled, but he shrugs and gives him a fork. The New Yorker kills himself. The American says, “Gimme a fork.” The chief is a bit puzzled by this request, but nonetheless complies. The American shoote himself. The Newfie says, “Gimme a fork!” The New Yorker gives him a old pistol. The Newfie takes himself to death. The Englishman says, ‘God save the queen!’ and shoots himself. The New Yorker says, “Yeah, a frigging fork, Gimme a fork!” The American takes the fork and begins stabbing himself violently all over his body, creating bleeding puncture wounds. The chief turns to the New Yorker. “Gimme a fork” the man says, with complete disdain. The chief is puzzled, but he shrugs and gives the man a fork. The cannibals looked at the Canadian man with a very confused look on their faces. The Canadian said, “Just gimme a fork.” The cannibals did so. The Englishman says, “God save the queen!” and shoots himself. The New Yorker said, “Gimme a fork.” The chief gives him a pistol, he points it at his head, says “God save the queen!” and blows his brains out. The American says, “Gimme a fork.” The chief is puzzled, but he shrugs and gives him a fork. The American takes the fork and starts jabbing himself all over. The New Yorker said: “Gimme a FoRK.” The tribal elder said: “A FoRK? What is FoRK, may I ask?” The New Yorker explained, and a FoRK was provided. “ A FORK, already, a FORK!! Can ya hear me now? Just gimme a FORK!” With a puzzled expression the man hands her a fork. The New Yorker says, “Gimme a fork.” The chief is puzzled, but he shrugs and gives him a fork. “The New Queen!” and kaboom.

It was done, and he was skinned and his skin made into a canoe. The New Yorker said: “Gimme a FoRK.” The tribal elder said: “A FoRK?” and kaboom! blows his brains out. The chief is puzzled, but he shrugs and gives him a fork.

Inside of a Dog

We have all internalized aspects of the dog-eat-dog world. Like a hairy dog picking up unwanted burrs, it evokes memories and feelings that transcend the text. We have anger and rage within us too, our concepts of ourselves: everyone needs therapy. Rewiring the brain alone cannot heal real wounds.

The people watching are symbolic of your dream state: Mom is Mexican, my friends are Mexican, my dog is Mexican, but I was waiting to see if they had internalized the lesson. Once this concept is internalized as a part of your belief system it takes the current internalized glossary list and formats it as canine = pertaining to or resembling a dog; castrine = pertaining to or resembling their belief in shadows. Shadows are anger and rage within them that are internalized aspects of the dog-eat-dog world.

This little grammar: D—> N—> boy, dog. Click here for great deals on profound and irrational fears to express and alleviate feelings of fear and anxiety. Rated R For homophobic paranoia. Useless, boring and unedited. Hawaiian monk seals have become internalized in order to reduce drag. This laundry list of features that make up what defines a cat or dog becomes:

        Four legs        Long ears
                    Tail
        Dog + + +        Cow + + +

A child who has internalized these features would call a "cow" and a "dog" by the above, also represented as (8x : dog(x)) [bites(x)] using restricted quantifiers) to Power1 (white power) as a hound dog is to: A. Asian American-spam connection: the fox refers to the key concepts of internalized racist oppression and internalized racist superiority. Suppose you have a dog-detector: it gives you a signal when the child assumes that this creature is a "dog." This is the truth. Giving away power to these internalized belief systems, immature larvae can figure out what the properties of the internalized grammar are.

He said, "My dog has ringworm because I have ringworm." Has internalized the “pain finding” questions. Has internalized the "pain funnel" questions. Doesn't do "dog and pony shows." We didn't have a dog, and I think we didn't mean to run over your little dog; I only wanted not to be afraid of her dog because it would only bite "people."

So what if the President is a dog? According to the rules of one's internalized grammar the dog has to have internalized the concept of working at the edge of the flock, and not pushing on the sheep unless necessary. The dog is selfish: it clings and protects, exposed to altruistic messages. "I'll give my friend a hot dog." This kind of transaction usually requires dog food. But it's really great dog food.

Ambush Makeover

Meeting-turned-ambush: "this place could use a makeover."
France has always been obstreperous
about bullshit mascara. Europe regards the bindi
as an affront to global culture--"It's bullshit hospitality
to ambush a sick old man."

While we were "away," our representatives perpetuated a surprise makeover
on John Huston, Joan Collins, Kirstie Alley and Owen Wilson.
We were poised to give car interiors
a revolutionary electronic makeover, but corporate hospitality
said 'no'. "We are here to engage in discussion,
not ambush you on one of those FOX-type
makeover shows." Bullshit--they want the promise
of FREE and EASY ANATOMICAL MAKEOVERS!

...all Islamic factions
enjoyed a free full-body makeover. "Kill us as individuals
but provide face-painting, hot roommates and MAKEOVERS."
...I think I need a makeover ... 8 minute mind/body makeover ... new roommates
camaraderie's fantastic up in corporate hospitality
...Communists ... metalheads ... "ambush marketers" ... it's been a tough week
Bwana Piet's Complete Safari Makeover, the barbaric Rus
spit vodka on the press release.
Negotiated options:

we ambush you at home
and then everyone in the studio audience
gets FREE MAKEOVERS!
Military haircut, corporate mascara.
We lob the I-Ching; come up behind
while you're washing the dishes; perpetuate
a feel-good makeover.

Most of us can't afford makeovers
except for the bullshit Complete Home Makeover.
The reason that we give you this Luger
is so that you'll apply bindis and ambush the President
in a Surprise Home Makeover.
Ambush him at home, tell him you're information workers
and you've opted to deliver a sexy in-studio makeover.
He seems to be just waiting, washing dishes. Come up behind
where he can't use his ninja.
SURPRISE, MR. PRESIDENT!
Cellulite beautiful skin nails full-body Sensual Makeover!!!

An "ambush" disguised as a ... [makeover]
(Gush Katif Woman
Dies In Ambush on Road Near)
...chunky ribbed jacket ... Ambush Velour hooded
"is this a justifiable endeavor
or just another feel-good makeover?"

petulant, do-able border makeover
beatings with soap and stockings across the eyes
'you GOTTA redo your body'

French theory's bullshit--how 'bout a makeover?
Kwanzaa was a bust--down for a makeover?
Turned from paradigm myth
to just a year and a half: Soldiers killed,
CIA wounded
Snowmass Golf Club: Story of a Complete Makeover.
Two Indian officers killed in Kashmir ambush
Indonesian Army Seeks Image Makover
Dad, daughter shot: give your Bedroom
a Makeover with
our Helpful Advice

Marketing ... hello ...
"I'm so sorry to do this to you
in front of others ... my intention is not to ambush you
but engage in a discussion. It's the only
way I know
(concealed armed bandits who ambush
passing cars...) "They're probably still there, thinking
they can fool us into believing they've gone
so they can ambush us..."

You can always ambush another guy
"no love, no belief, nothing but sickness"
ambush Emory's car company and kill...
there'll be nothing but dreams
up in corporate hospitality
... a view of new worlds ...

"No, cancel that, how about just a makeover???

Fascist Fairytales (8)

"The Red Fish" from Turkey is death.
Lost in the civil war, they came upon
a house made of candy and cake.
Because Bush had a dog should
Hansel and Gretel be found guilty
of murder? An old witch supplied
Sadam Hussein with military Bio-
medical Systems, co-owned by Bush's
Secretary of ... appears. His first opera
was "Axis of Evil, Shmaxis of Evil."
Hedwig's pre-sex change name is
"Hansel." I can predict his children's
film: "Hansel becomes Gretel, Trust
Hussein, distrust Bush." Pre-Hansel
tales? Mahatma Hussein? I do
not have Anthrax? I wish my
brother appreciated me as much
as Hansel must love his sister. Then,
last night, I dreamt of Saddam
Hussein. ... This is why dictators like
President George Bush! ... Claus, no
tooth fairy, un humano normal, failed
to sign a new "hate crime" law in Texas.
Son ecologistas; y Jorgito Bush es
todo, "izquierdosos, moros,
Archienemigos," y, "7. The Invisible
Man, 9. White Wolf, the White Wolf,
10. Darth Vader, 11. The Lettuce
ghoul, 13. Persian Alfombra, 14. The
Grandma, 16. George Bush Junior,
17. The Killer Tomato!" They had
taken the old farmer's truck down
a bush track from the disarmament
push, y Jorgito Bush es todo, "What
is the similarity between Little Miss
Muffet and Sadam Hussein? Two
cannibals were eating a comedian.
I'll bet you've been eating a lot. You
hear that Miss Muffet and Saddam
got together with the Buddhist who
refused Novocaine during his root canal?
What do Miss Muffet and Saddam have?"
He would fish from dawn to dark
with his favorite legs, and will need
help eating and going. They were
eating lunch and the Irishman said,
"Corned beef to the drivers," so
Jorgito Bush los rollos abajo su ventana
y es todo, "What do Miss Muffet and
Saddam Hussein have inside her
panties, it feels like a horse eating oats.
Do you call a man with 99% of his
brain missing to take back the man-eating
flowers, and purchase amphibious tires
for his car and ... similarity between Little
Miss Muffet and Sadam Hussein?!"
A powder keg waiting to erupt, his
belly button to the middle of his chest,
cartoon of a very happy oriental gent
eating an egg, decides he's going to get
his revenge--"to be known that I voted
for West Virginians eating road kill.
What do Miss Muffet and Saddam Hussein
have in Home Brewing? What do Little
Miss Muffet and Saddam Hussein have in
High-Voltage Fence? What do Saddam
Hussein and General Custer have in his wife?"
They all sit down and begin eating a fine meal.
When they got done eating dinner, they
decided to gently put his arm around the
man and half an immediate danger.
"Did you hear that Saddam won the toss?
They can give milk without eating grass."
His friend and co-worker was collecting
double his pay: "A grizzled old man was
eating in a truck stop when Hussein
walked up to the old man, pushed his
cigarette into the farmer who turned his
farm in to Saddam Hussein." On the box
it says, "Snatch Eating Frogs $20.00."

Pizza Kitty

Kitty Goes Postal--
wants pizza.
Kitty has hat & cape and looks
like a magician . . .

Observe kitty eating a slice of pizza.
"Eat some free pizza, Kitty!" YUM
(pizza man impatient at the door)

BAD KITTY LIST, FOOD RELATED
_____will not use my ninja kitty paw strike
_____naked on sofa with rapidly-cooling pizza
_____monster clowns with KITTY-FACES!

"Take off your shoes, bitch"
Base Mood, icky. Kitty Mood, BOOM BOOM
KITTY FUCK, SHORTY-- "I make
for you a pizza"
dubbed kitty litter pizza.
(Whatever you do keep away from the Kitty Litter pizza

Just had the stupidest idea--
Make KITTY order pizza!
The kitty brings the pizza on its
paw, possibly
cold pizza

Send kind and healing thoughts
to Pizza Kitty
one sick kitty
cute blonde baffled pizza delivery . . .

Obverse of Kitty:
I have a bottomless pit for pizza
there is a pizza bar on ship
word is they're living off
an "all pizza diet"
Kitty won't be so finicky
When she's served this new stuffed pizza!

Expensive pizza date with Kitty.
Everyone ate pizza and soda.
Indigestible Japanese pizza.
Long, annoying lecture about being
A bad world kitty. "What turns you on, Pizza Kitty?"
Mommy does not like to get kitty kisses
while she is trying to eat pizza . . .

Pizza boy looks hard at Kitty
snacking on pizza
Vow to myself walking out of the pizza restaurant:
No telling your nickname to Kitty!

Super Kitty Cat Pics Archives
Asleep :.: Fishy Fountains [1] Delivery Boys [3] :. .:
Expensive Kitty Bed [3] :. .: :. .: Pizza

Kitty in some kind
of army uniform-everytime we contemplate
making pizza we remember this incident:
"Kitty, come down!" Pizza
all over our bodies.
Then the pizza guy (not the cute
pizza guy, worse luck)
comes to the door and says, "Peace, Kitty"

:. .: DEPENDS ON WHETHER I
CATCH THE SCENT OF PIZZA!!! :. .:

Through Jello Moulds Of Christian Science Walruses

Spring wafts up the smell of butane capers
of Simon LeBon and fried pumas,
crime tips green on the ranch dressing,
repeats the news: swiss chard, iguanas, whiskers

Jesus freaks saving Iraqi babies
By the cinder-block walls shared
by two hummus pajama holders
is a new condom. On one side was a kitchen sink
and a SUV made of cocaine, on the other was

a gila monster, a bookshelf, and three framed hard-ons.
Glass is shattered across the photo montage
of everything Dianne Sawyer every thought;
two half-circles of hardened pock-marked flames

sat upon the stack of Gregory Corso innertubes.
Make war against your own attached files
There provisionally was
For a bit more cash

a plastic bug under the corn beef astronaut leggings
for what? a fig temblor? A knife flashed in the foreskin?
merely dilating the geese. mortgages of women
move inexorably toward certain laxatives

Well, you can't bomb unless you keep your health
that's one connection.
To keep your health is your life.
If you can, therefore, "bomb, bomb, bomb"

and become absorbed in what you do,
you do the best you can with what you have.
I would not want to say that you keep your
health by bombing. It's certainly been
good for me, though

while citizens sit safe in hiccups
their landlords are otters
reading the newspaper,
whose fantagraphics snobbery

makes sanitized excuses
for the shy lemur rehabilitations
There are innumerable kinds of getting:
Charlie Rose will tell you the truth.

Slappy Lazarus

I have met the honorary King
Of Booty, Phoebe Cates,
From counter claims tabi-tabing
Herself to the illegitimate
Son of Fyodor Pavlovitch
(There is evidence of this),
To hear old ladies bitch
Against the airbrushed list
Of flaky weird-like bookmarks
"Polite" joking and goodnatured
Meaningless violence, Dark Elf Arks,
As if God Himself had been tortured.
I have passed Megan's email address
On to Dr. Quicheo,
Shape shifting under duress
Styx, Journey and REO.

Boom! ... Wicca-Moroccan meditation
To please my attempted Calculus
In ethnic mobiliz-ation
The marketplace is "Spontane-ous
Order." Pictures from my softball
Years are terrible, my teeth
Had major gap-ation going on all
Over the Aegean and beneath
The "Terrible Turk" love swapping
Pictures of Brittney Spears,
An anthropomorphic vodka bottle
Drew knives and severed the ears.
A Daniel many of you won’t
Hit, "Booty Remix #2"
In the comedy that rocked Kent
"What are Booty’s true
Motivations? It is *Stumpy*,
The terrible." He too had
Experienced a rather bumpy
Paradise Lost flashing banner ad.
Did not Smerdyakov confess
To his last pet rabbit, Oreo
He Shape shifts under duress,
Styx, Journey and REO.

Hearts with a new sword winking
Wore a custard pie, and vamps broke.
Sabrina is the son of "stinking
Lizaveta." The tax code’s baroque.
Strange and singular ravens hovered
Like the birds in "Auf der Kippe"
(KA-CHING, KA-CHING) may be avered
From the peek-a-booty clip.
Minute by minute they scurried
To steal CaliGirl ass
Found some of the booty buried
In the Naval vernacular carcass.
Pounds of candy bars in a barracks,
That’s terrible, boys! Ange shakes
Her sexxxy booty as Potter kicks
Voldie repeatedly in the shanks.

The heather is growing dim
Around the bonie moor-hen
"and here's my glittering diadem,"
Christ snatched the triumphal procession.
King, you shall take massive
booty from them that dwelt
in fawning to my face, dismissive
on Usenet of Phi Delts.
To writhe wildly makes her chest
delts and triceps wake in a mare.
Abram marched home with the C'est
Toujours out of nowhere.
Even God gets some of the booty ––
including the Star Tabernacle 7" Whip
The old lie: Citizen versus City!
By Silver-Leg's ejaculated Hare-Lip.
And what if that guy from smashing
wearied of the pursuit
the piteous bleating deer cashing
the cult of Aesculapius's root?
I write it on my dress,
My interpreter Porphyrio.
Shape shifting under duress,
Styx, Journey and REO.

God Bless My Hair

GOD BLESS MY HAIR by John Ashcroft

Dear God, bless my hair. Our beloved
Jimmy has grown up to be evidence
which makes me believe I ever did.

Midland, Texas

Some people use vaseline on their finger.
The vent or cloaca will be pointing
Away from you. Open the single body
Cavity by a cloaca-to-chin incision.

I had never noticed before that the cloaca
Is ringed by haberdasher coacervate goldfinches
Dibble-lolling near a new family of Cheyletoid mites
From the cloaca of aquatic turtles.

Notice the sexual differences of the beak in the courtship
Of the male's seminal vessicles. I think, therefore,
That the goldfinch should be struck from the list of some
Explorer of our cloaca maxima, whenever it is cleansed.

Let me say that this story is neither about his
Prolapsed cloaca nor about trying to eat from one
Of those small birds (chickadee, finch, titmouse), suction cup
of Fahrenheit, armed impregnably within, like Emerson's Titmouse.

Just one gallon of oil can create an 8 acre oil slick....
Tufted Titmouse, 4 x 4, 8-10, 6-8, 1-1/4, 6-15, in swamps...
White-breasted Nuthatch, 4 x 4, 8-10, 6-8, 1-1/4, 5-20,
bushtit dot comments. ENTRY: Alrightee then, could be worse--

could be "gas with oily discharge" ... you ... If your ass
leaks oil? ExxonMobil. Several hundred volunteers
are on the beach now picking up oil with shovels and
rakes. I observed near the mouth, appeared to be free.

Against Clean Lines

[NOTE FROM THE EDITORS: THE POEM BELOW, BY JAMES CERVANTES, IS THE FIRST THAT WE KNOW OF TO SPECIFICALLY RESPOND TO MATERIAL FROM THE MAINSTREAMPOETRY.COM WEBSITE.]

Against Clean Lines

"I once believed a single line in a Chinese poem could change forever / How blossoms fell...." - Gary Sullivan*

Vigilance by the cherry tree as blossoms fall
one by one and sometimes like the planes
landing at Sky Harbor, the closest allowable
horizontal and vertical distance between them.

Once, on a gusty day, they fell in quatrains,
as unbelieveable as dandelion seed's cosmic pendulum
as next door she yelled, "PATRICKGETINHERE
RIGHTNOW OR I'MGONNAWHIPYOUR BUTT!"

Once, on a windless day, one fell straight down
as if along a plumb line. Our words, our pun.

In the desert there are updrafts.
Thus a lazy spiral, an ever-so-brief stop, then ascension,
imparting to the blossom the floating gut
of an elevator stop.

Yes, they fall at night when no one's watching,
like snow in a globe when you stop shaking.

Add moonlight and steady wind and there are the Leonids.

Sometimes it's like photographing them:
when attention is suddenly called for elsewhere
and a random fall is etched forever.

It's possible they wait to fall when someone's close,
aware as they are of other gravities. It's possible
they don't care when they're stepped upon,
flattened as part of someone's book.

-----
* "Against Clean-Line Poetry As Such,"
12:50 PM, Friday, January 31, 2003
http://www.mainstreampoetry.com/

What's a Tower for Transmission?

What's a tower for transmission? and so forth.
I'm not 100% sure to this day who won
The Shaka Zulu, and so forth
once we are to be exact :o]
anywho, another problem arose when
cera wouldnt get hers done UNLESS
i went first!! which, i glady did because
holy shit i wanted it done BADLY!
the seasons of earth explode in slow motion
Alright, now that we've got that out of the way,
what's this show trout you’re not so sure about?
to be honest, I'm not totally 100% sure.
To Bust a Freeze predated the Cold War
We're not 100% sure
Probably not, but agian, we are not 100% sure
About the War of marzapan Platinum cards
flat, therefor easy to take over during times of war.
again, I'm not 100% sure
have a friend of ours come down to pierce us,
but she never really feared us
twice i think i jinxed it!
In horror movies they always do this and so forth
Three thoughts on war for headspace while watching
most Nurses take on their totem animal
and I’m not 100% sure but
according to Ralph Waldo Emerson
war teaches us the meaning of
the draft being reinstated by old guys in Harlem
I believe if we do go to war which I am sure we will in
mid February, I think its a good idea
to bring Ralph Waldo Emerson back from the dead
Why should all the poor and uneducated kids get
sent to fight for our country while
the rich snobs sit back partying
on laser sofas with transendeltal literiture?
I think I just biforcated again
alright well i guess i should start off by saying
that i have wanted my nipples pierced for soo
long! but, you see, i didnt think
that i would be getting
it done anytime soon so i just kinda gave up.
my friends and i planned to reinstate the draft
that makes perfect sense as long
as it starts as a not 100% sure voluntary-type war
Enough with these locations
I'm not 100% sure it's not
the older 88mm's, but reduce
accuracy;--So on and so forth!
by the end of the war,
German statisticians were not 100% sure
but Et cera told me that her friend diane and kat
do not have a cohesive 100% sure plan
but I think I do
so, i told myself that it probably would not happen.
feeling that in the shell of a bomb in World War two
either A) The passsing on of the tape and so forth
or B so, i kept to myself, and i didnt tell anyone!
but in my heart, i wanted to tell the whole world!!
It is characterized by lightning bolts
around the person.
I'm not totally 100% sure about this lightning stuff
but here I go anyway.
unit, wonder, building, unable to recongized fate
totally 100% approach
to as what she is going to do
and how she is going to do it.
the only thing is she only had 3 rings,
so i had to settle for only one. the left one
were coming up to see u100% sure about this
but I don't think that any of the
other parties are campaigning on a platform
to get government out of our war
Short, short, short!
That is my hair. This is the shortest it has ever
been. I think I like it!
not totally sure about the good,
and so forth, or the Something else, relevant
to the irrational fog of war,
is that I am not 100% sure
I think that is the song & the group,
but i'm not totally 100% sure.
myths of management including the war for talent
but I didnt. so anywho,
the day came that kat was supposed to be coming.
it was around 3 or so and
we FINALLY got a call from them,
saying that they were on their way! woohoo.
it was actually going to happen!!
Before encoding the WHOLE movie
it would be a VERY good idea too do a short
1-pass test as we are not totally 100% sure
we have the aspect correct.
Now, I'm not totally house,
we ju it? I'm really not totally,
100% sure of what is in it
so i sit down,
and kinda chilled in her
basement and talked about
budgets to pay for food and heating
fuel, and so forth, as well as
100% of the scuds
during the Gulf War, or anything
you know how girlies are!!
but then the subject came up, and kat was
like 'so cera are we piercing your nipples?'
any cannon mention of this pre-War in heaven
we left today from Colorado
to go over to Iraq to some military
base near the borders of Kuwait
maybe if I do follow up enlisting,
I might get to be shipped over there also.
I really dont know what I want to go to war.
It isnt me saying I want to be a hero or I am off
to fight somebody else's war.
trying to calm myself down.
i was a little nervous at this point.
with them, and they appear to have waged war with me.
This is America. Look
around, this is the best damn country in the world,
and for that I am willing to risk anything for it.
The UnitedStates is the most powerful country
there is maybe not so clear
but hey we all make mistakes.
she just kinda hesitated
but she said yes. so then, we headed up to cera's room,
in order to stay clear of her 'rents.
:o] sneak-ay. so w to do this?
Oh wait, yea the rest of our lives.
Here is a thought: when was the last time you saw
all of Walmarts cash registers open all at once?
People are changing again.
What for? Your friends all ready know who
So, another weekend has flown by
and I realize I didnt do shit.
Thats ok though, because it is perfectly all
right to do nothing
STILL contempating that I am not 100% sure
what expression means
but my best living
in post-war Norway is
as small power tools are
kitchen appliances and so forth.
Do I support ok, i am a little shy
so it was somewhat
awkward pulling out my boobies
in front of 3 other girls!
haha. but i managed to overcome my shyness.
and besides, I’m still not 100% sure
I want to be with Mike Wallace
Keep me from kicking him in the face,
and so on and so forth.
it was 3 of my friends
so it was better than pulling them
out in front of a total stranger!
i kept on saying 'dont look directly at
the boobies'
so i kinda just laughed off
what you don't know,
or are not 100% sure of
and when else are we gonna be able
all day and all weekend
Why do you bother to change to impress someone else?
The only cool thing you can be is yourself.
Who is Mr. Zamboni at the hockey games?
she is gonna kill me

How Mainstream Is It?

It's not enough that we should succeed: Everyone else must fail. We want ads EVERYWHERE: It's not enough that Linford Christie once wore the Puma logo on his Contact lenses. Or that "we" served in Vietnam, the Gulf War Neither is it "enough" that we're the most environmentally Contaminated place in the Western Hemisphere, nor that We pick apart everything Tiger Woods does on the Golf Course. It's just not enough to go around weepy and confused.

A "for instance": Mr. Potato Head's naked & fellating Tiger Woods. Is that enough? Every year 1000s of mice, rats and guinea pigs Are injected with chemicals to see if they do actual damage to Organs. That's why we have to be witnesses. It's not That we *personally* have experienced forgiveness of sin. The hoi polloi require creators re-invent themselves & that we routinely lead them w/the tools and processes we have.

And they have to PAY FOR the writing, the EU haircuts Otherwise, people simply turn away from us & we are Neither too good nor too bad & are simply recycled-- Pardon? What do you mean, "Is that not enough"? You might as well ask, "Is it enough that the shower heads in The women's locker room are at chin-height, that Our poems are endlessly overacted, tirelessly over-emotive & pedantically ... melodramatically ... morbidly contrived?"

If everyone's going to be like that, the stadium must be named after some stupid product: "The Ban on Meat-based Feeds," "After September 11," "Grandstanding & Witless Protest Signs." It's not enough that they invite us into their homes, to "live in Texas" with them. The key word here is "constantly." Must we constantly start over? Are we any closer to God? Why must we constantly prove ourselves? Must we constantly Be on guard against those "experts" who seem to think we are Totally inept and idiotic by virtue of being sheepish?

Human Destiny tells us that, just as we fashion laws to meet our Emerging needs, so must we constantly reexamine and revise Our poetry, and that our poetry not be at war with our "customers." We simply can't depend on the same individuals year after year To do the work. Poetry is too often used to solve specific Applied problems. Why must we constantly build new functions?

Have we not hearts big enough? Must we constantly revert to the Eighteenth century or, preferably, the seventeenth? Is *that* why we intoxicate ourselves? Distract ourselves? Constantly bombard each other with crap? Why must we Pit ourselves *against* crap? Does crap prevent us from seeing "The Big Picture"?

Can't we learn to enjoy the simple pleasures of helicopter noise? Must we constantly compare our helicopters to Other helicopters? Why must we constantly theorize about helicopters? Are they an appropriate code for living? Are they even "Realistic"?

We talk as if thought was precise and emotion was vague As if thought were a function of understanding As if there were no hand there to guide the scalpel's cutting As if thought were something "plunged into a sea of words & come up dripping." Do thoughts even work? Thought ought To be the most democratic of arenas, but has become Just another obscure professional specialty, the corpse wheeled away, The kidneys, the glands, the bruised heart--all tossed into a saucepan.

As poets, we need to embody wisdom, dignity, freedom & love Helping others to own these values, to reach the point Where they are ready to embark on their own lives, free of social roles. We need to embody regeneration through the synergy of Expressive breath, sound and movement. We need to transform What we are restoring, and to ask these questions with great Patience and intention, to embody them, to live them & to support programs that foster great patience and intention.

RIGHT NOW is an extremely important time for the "Core Self." We need to embody the whole of our human nature To devise systems of rules (selves) which describe how language Works; we need to embody--to give birth to--all of our "selves." We have many selves: the image (fantasy/memory/dream) self, The physical self, the soul. It's time [APPLAUSE]. With this in mind, we can better prepare ourselves for the future Adopt policies of dignity, inclusion, and fair treatment [APPLAUSE].

Each self is different [APPLAUSE]. They are each different & we need to embody those values in our new laws [APPLAUSE]. If hope is going to be more than a theological theory, we need to Embody, in the dramatic pattern each of us of calls, "my life," These values *as* legislation, because the court will not do it For us [APPLAUSE]. We need to embody choreographers [APPLAUSE] so that way we may understand the world more in "human" terms. We think that is the point. For you and I to live an effective life We need to embody successful consumer driven initiatives (principles) So as to "get" a grasp of the kinds of connections and relations between Things. [APPLAUSE.]

My Anus

by Jane Kenyon

That year I discovered the virtues
of a bowel movement near my anus.
I don't argue, I don't ask much,
I don't stay out until 3:00 A.M., I just
tape worm segments to my anus.
Several types of worms segments
may be involved, and it is important
to identify all of them for my anus
Coughing,
diarrhea (sometimes with blood),
weight loss,
a rough-dry coat,
and overall poor appearance:
these are the best features of my anus.

"When barking freely through incarnadine schlumpfests"

When barking freely through incarnadine schlumpfests
Demand Elk-Lag brand urethra-crutches for your
Four-whores-in-a-Ford-Probe needs. When in England,
Smear your face with Kate-Chopin-The-Awakening Cake,
Now in convenient suppository form, from Elk Lag.
When I was but a wee poet, and given to archaisms
And apparent misunderstandings of common words
Trying to disguise my deep-seated hostility and insecurity,
I chewed Elk-Lag dogshit flavored gum night and day
But now that I am the voice of my generation
Enunciating clearly my deep-seated hostility and insecurity
I carry Elk-Lag dogshit colored pocketbooks as I fly
High over the arctic circle, my very body concealing
Several condoms full of non-nuclear ass face in a bottle TM.
Past performance is no guarantee of future dick-in-ear. Elk-Lag
Is not responsible for your poetry-scene anxiety; side effects
Include numerology, nipple clamps, Stephen Paul Miller.

Flarfette Jones

Flarfette Jones is one of the early forerunners of Mainstream Poetry. She was peeing in her bunkbed before most people even knew what Mainstream Poetry was. She herself has not identified herself as herself a Mainstream Poet. But newspaper men in particular will no doubt lump her into the category "Mainstream"--and this is all to the good, because she is a great mainstream poet. Below two authors comment on her work.

The New Popsicle Pussy Feminism in the Work of Flarfette Jones

At the same time, it has to be distinguished, I think, from feminine hysteria, which is covert and isolated; it is much more difficult for a woman to perform hysteria and/or silliness in public, the social opprobrium far more severe.
                              --Maria Damon

Pussy ... anti-woman conspiracy theory involving a popsicle
Across the street in front of the Pussy Cat Theatre
I watched two women on the next blanket pass a popsicle

The pussy willow branch gracefully swaying in the
pure enjoyment of a cold popsicle
The headline says "Feminism Breeds Violence"

To be the primary band associated with riot girl feminism
come into a bar or complain loudly about dykes who put energy
               into feminism.
I like to go out with guys and talk about pussy.... Holy Christ on a
               popsicle stick!

She made me tea and gave me a popsicle, showed me
I'm a pussy... since, y'know... Feminism is the advocacy of political
Dwarves - Let's Fuck - Blood Guts & Pussy

Pursue her, she might fall into the clutches of feminism
I asked Dan if he could sign Popsicle Toes
would probably sell her machine and continue marketing pussy....

Pierce Brosnan is a pussy prettyboy ... Maybe a housewife
don't take away her feminism mind poison
the thing is THERE--like a popsicle or something

something *fun*. Go sit in the sun with a popsicle.

On Flarfette Jones and Her Work

Because she made me fall in love with Bob Lazar. Bob Lazar is a
forty-year-old pyrotechnics researcher. Lazar sounded like an eccentric
and further revealed a fifteen or sixteen and a good foot and a half little
two year old finger ... I still love him, but he pushed me away, bunch of
shit I don't need, came home, ate popsicles, and napped. "I love you."
Then he said, "Do you know what MY favorite gift was this year?" I played
popsicles and push pops! We are like the coolest peoples ever. You came
in my life and I was blessed, I love you. The following users are also
interested in popsicles. Cry-in-the-wind and I'm just like no way! Once
there was this widdle girl and she didn't eat anything but popsicles and
pudding for a week. I love it here. And I love the people. (And he brought
popsicles with him.) It boosted our self-esteem, like Rosa on the bus:
Blue pen met the notebook, it fell madly in love to write anything in here.

Farfisa Meatless Etude

Et tu? Expensive vegan shopping? Burns
on other people's fingers-chemo(toxic)
therapy. That the Mormons
are vegetarians
and play lots of cheesy farfisa
wheras the Adventists eat meatless food.
Silence or a virtually meatless diet:
Such toothless distinctions.
Wheras these scriptures unambiguously support a meatless
way of life

Jake plays Farfisa.
Jesus farfisa, meatless farfisa.
early German no-wave farfisa, sandwiched between 2
iggy style vocal cuts/
VOX ET FARFISA SONT DE RETOUR! En god akustisk en
Farfisa-orgel-
das hypnotische Eingangsthema:

Disco mix/7 inch single mix NM/NM
meatless

Linda on Farfisa: 2-part Meatless Inventions.
Discographie:

Fink Sonata
Vegan Farfisa
Fuzzy Meatless Scripture

Adventists wants farfisa: stark meatless tone.
Lots of funky 60s farfisa:
meaty howl attack.
Manhandles farfisa-dynamic chemo(toxic) thrust.
Tympani: sucks
Vibraphone: so-so
Dizzy on farfisa: Revolutionary Etude!

Scriptures like distinctions:
Ukuleles, shofars, percu indiennes, boules
chinoises, piano jouet.
Beats it to death--unambiguous.
Mystical glass harp adds meatlessness:
heavy on soulful Farfisa . . .

sounds like a good shampoo commercial-
long farfisa intro
in certain quarters a chemo-toxic pollutant
trippy, fuzzy, meatless

Scriptures condone farfisa
or is it ambiguous?
Used to love farfisa:
creepy, vegan,
toothless.
(last, worst record had farfisa.)
There shall be no more Farfisa
Except you will be happy
with fish and meatless dishes.

Episcopalians . . . meatless
Old Believers . . . meatless
Orthodox (sometimes)
meatless . . .
(*farfisa* at forefeasts)
Idea
for spacy farfisa outro--
Scripture is meatless,
God
an etude.

Song of Myself

I was a star
that fell to earth
and landed in a meadow,
where I grew
into a beautiful flower.
One day I pulled myself up by the roots
and walked into the city,
where I started hitting
and shooting people.
This is the Song of Myself.
Now die, you fuckers.

Cops

If you ain't where you is, you’re
no place. God, in the year 2050, finally
got the chance to enjoy Armageddon.
He nonchalantly resumed devouring

his order, racing down the road
with two leather-clad ladies in hot
pursuit, whipping him since it is
the time of month where this

"Goldfish" dearly desires the hot
pastrami sandwich of a Man
wearing coleslaw, Swiss cheese,
Russian and a pink shirt who is

running down Buffalo and lost as
the fractal murders the police.

This Is No Book: Who Touches This Touches My Ass

It also touches noir amorality (Pop ... is
a good guy, one of the book's true South-
ern morals, because there's no dead mule).
Who wants to take a stab at the lyrics?

To the person in the car outside my office
window: Cher is not my friend. Cher is
no one’s friend. "Man, you come right out
of a comic book." While trying to be unique,

there's no need. Sarah bends over touches
her toes shows off her lovely red shoes and
thong and says, "Come on Tom honey bunny,
United Kingdom." This may sound like a no-brainer.

But this is no book, who touches this touches
my ass, a horror story that needs no death, no
blood and excludes some folks from the west,
there's no avoiding that, my disturbed little Samaritan,

when the shower curtain touches my bare
skin of Illinois. Discuss this. Why are you here
doing some shit ass comments? Well, if it
seems ... yet it really touches my whenever.

Well spank my ass and book me a big hardbound
Rise and Fall of the Third Reich no less!
Every car he touches he fucking destroys,
gesturing to the sliced book’s appearance on "Hack."

Caterers put the finishing touches on the
business book genre (one of my favorite
rhetorical smartasses, those old days suit you:
"you owe her, cousin Romney, no amends; she....")

The Chinese Democracy auction also gets
a copy of Led Zeppelin. Rapacity and ethnocentric
pride will get belief system from the Book of the
One God; "Mankind is evil. No more red tape."

Those people need my direct assistance, Johnny
Rotten and Catwoman images from the downtown
artspace of a prospective partner; either a pink bunny
or no bunny at all. They sure loved their book burnings.

Not Just Wordz

Poetry should never be criticized without invitation. Although....

"Safe upon the solid rock the ugly houses stand:
Come see my shining palace built upon the sand!"

My confusion::tinbox:: ::waterlilies. More confusion ::irrelephants:: ::dare. "Shining" poetry should never fall out. Poetry should never have to be explained.

***

I. Poetry should never be seen as just a bunch of words put together that tries to put into perspective what actually exist in today's reality.

1. Poetry should never again find itself struggling in its noble purpose of presenting to the world the very best poems the editors can find.

2. Poetry should never be misinterpreted as a barometer of the age in which it was written.

3. Poetry should never be copied, for it is a thing of the heart.

4. Poetry should never be dull, it is supposed to be hard.

5. Poetry should never be forced, put with a deadline, or demanded in any case whatsoever.

6. Poetry should never be judged. Objectively, at least.


II. Poetry should never be left in an open container and I ride a moped to work every morning until the snow flies.

1. Poetry should never be posted on the web.

2. Poetry should never be sold.

3. Poetry should never be given to significant others. It's just not fair.

4. Poetry should never be presented as a gift to newlyweds or to any other person on the hopeful brink of adventure.

5. Poetry should never be studied for its craft.

6. Poetry should never be taken seriously. Due to the obvious fact.

7. Poetry should never be taught through examinations and reference-to-context.

8. Poetry should never be touched by a red pen. "You know, those bald...."

9. Poetry should never be translated because _______.


III. Poetry should never disguise that fleeting glimpse under eternity's skirt, but find and report that consciousness.

1. Poetry should never tell it all but should convey the trust of complete strangers. If the poem is created.

2. Poetry should never be snooty.

3. Poetry should never imitate anything.

4. Poetry should never justify the lack of living.

5. Poetry should never walk. Run, jog, sprint, skip, hop, leap, bounce, spring, cut, dart, crawl, roll, anything but walk.

6. Reach until space. Reach until god. And tell us how he is.


IV. Poetry should never reveal truths about life, but should sit and wait for any meandering fool to comprehend.

1. Poetry should not be slamming in on us. It should embrace us and love us.

2. Poetry should never be punished. It should always be honored. Because it all gives hope to people.

3. Poetry should never shout at us, nor treat us as street dogs.

4. Poetry should never predominate.

5. Poetry should never be analysed, but like a good beer shit, it should just be done and flushed away.

6. Poetry should never, EVER be encouraged in amateurs.

7. Poetry should never be done under any other conditions.

8. Poetry should never be formula-written--so we don’t try and get you writing to a set formula. But we do....

***

What so wrong with the first poem? Just look at it. It's cute. It has a stated purpose and meaning.