Friday, December 05, 2003

The True Meaning of Xmas

In the mid-90s, I received an email from a mysterious
character calling himself "Cosmic Jimmy."
He said he was the developer of a new family-oriented Christmas web
site that keeps the family centered around the true meaning of Christmas.
The difficulty in having a common meaning is that there are
so many. When we dolphins communicate, for instance,
the messages accrete
in these tiny fatty sacs parallel to the head. The sound

Can reverberate horribly, transmitting the special messages
we've been ordained to deliver to mankind
with a violence more often associated with alcohol abusers
and old pre-digital Roland RX 550 synthesizers.
With that said, I can tell you the true meaning of love

And friendship is the element that will become predominant
in the warm interspecies relations which, even now, can sometimes develop
between humans, dolphins and whales. Every day, somewhere
around the world, a dolphin reaches out to someone, pleading:
"Court block Bush dolphin safe label!
Court block Bush dolphin safe label!"
the high mortality rate of seven million dolphins killed since the 1950's,

Modeled by the small businesses active in your community.
Children discussing Dolphin & Whale ascension,
Holographic Knowledge, Earth Changes, True Law, True
Meaning of Namaste--
One needn't climb the slopes of Nazareth
To have sex with a dolphin....

"Sex? With a dolphin? How sick is that?"
Not to make this a "Scrooge" experience or anything,
but that dirty little dolphin
enticing the customer
to buy, buy, buy, pretending
that dolphins are virgins, here to help us understand
our true noctural drives. There might, in fact, in retrospect
be something dolphin-like
About all our collective sexual perversions:
For when the man has been laid to rest he will be

Anointed with a myrrh, according to the custom of the Horebites
who, at the postfeast of the Nativity, celebrate the ascension of the dead
to a sort of vast paradise
with the help of a personal angel
and the goddess Dolphin. It's good to see that Disney
didn't go the "PC" route with this one, obscuring the true meaning
of Christmas for some crap the whole family can enjoy.
The things we love will pass

like grass, beating is practically a given
given the traditions of Mohinder's alcohol abuse. So I gave him
this colored plastic claw that throws dolphin balls really, really far:
Moral is spank a dolphin and get
to heaven which is the true meaning to life