Tuesday, December 16, 2008



If you're on anxietypaniclog
you're reading stolen content
Hey, Huffy i hope you DOMINATES
hey baby you must be a light switch

who's bound to have access to TNT
to hit treys when he’s open
LiveEye on StormSurge
Seeing things through your head

Oh honey, destroy all humans!
On today’s yuppie Path of the Furon
The things I could do to you
With a Pulitzer Prize and some Polish art!

I’m a little bit dodgy fanboy
I’m a little bit addicted
torn on this one, to be honest:
The Dark Side of Paradise: Burnout

Waving to you from the top of an oak tree
Waving to you from behind a desk
In love you go blind and your thumbs fall off
Like a firedancer falling off a bar

I know you don't like wrestling, per se,
but if you wanna see Australia
it’s in this DDR bundle
like the cuss in a famous book

And I know you don’t like small wrestlers
Promoting Nazis, but fans do!
Because they’ve sold out their inner child
To police a gator people

I come when you take new people
When you’re eventually released
When you select them / do attacks with them
When you whisper “Ya estan vendiendo”

But if you're worried about the bacteria
if your arms are a Britishness
pull baby pink gears of war, baby
start in a nice cheap pad

Cause who needs the Power Cheat Code
When you’ve got the widgets and sticks
It hurts the concept of stealth
And you wind up more plodding than zipping

And you can’t tell the FORZA MOTORSPORT
From the massive Black Friday headache
Look at Vista: what a nightmare!
What a sorry assed prize to win

I’m going to tell you again now
If You're Going Out I'm Going Out
Who loves a wookie in parachute pants?
Who loves us the most?

If you’re laying your 360 vertically
If you’re laying face down and you kip
Laying waste to hundreds of zombies
Kick your screwattack sponsor for me

If your head says it invented avatars
But your heart is wet for Halo
Call me at the inappropriate female times
The lines are impossible


Anonymous said...

so this is flarf, interesting.

Anonymous said...

you may have exploded my brain. i've read quite a bit of flarf, and this seems to have kicked my brain ass.

you take the care!

Anonymous said...

this is the first flarf poem i ever read. i sort of didn't read it though.

Anonymous said...


Anonymous said...

and it is the only good thing on this blog

John Philip Johnson said...

Nice thing about this flarf, and I think it's right, it is like the rubble where the tower of Babel and the New York Times used to be. I think it makes great background noise. I'm kind of into Tan Lin at the moment, even though it's deliberately crappy. I mean, I prefer Yeats, but this may not be the prceise moment in history for the grand style. I'm not sure how long I can take the noise, though. But a little longer I think would be refreshing.

talk to me on Facebook or at my website johnphilipjohnson.com

John Philip Johnson

William Soule said...

Hahaha. This poem's funny. Fl-fl-flarf!!! I like.

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retard said...

why don't you update any more?

Anonymous said...

shut the fuck up john philip johnson