Tuesday, December 16, 2008

YOU TURN ME ON (I'M AN XBOX 360)

YOU TURN ME ON (I’M AN XBOX 360)

If you're on anxietypaniclog
you're reading stolen content
Hey, Huffy i hope you DOMINATES
hey baby you must be a light switch

who's bound to have access to TNT
to hit treys when he’s open
LiveEye on StormSurge
Seeing things through your head

Oh honey, destroy all humans!
On today’s yuppie Path of the Furon
The things I could do to you
With a Pulitzer Prize and some Polish art!

I’m a little bit dodgy fanboy
I’m a little bit addicted
torn on this one, to be honest:
The Dark Side of Paradise: Burnout

Waving to you from the top of an oak tree
Waving to you from behind a desk
In love you go blind and your thumbs fall off
Like a firedancer falling off a bar

I know you don't like wrestling, per se,
but if you wanna see Australia
it’s in this DDR bundle
like the cuss in a famous book

And I know you don’t like small wrestlers
Promoting Nazis, but fans do!
Because they’ve sold out their inner child
To police a gator people

I come when you take new people
When you’re eventually released
When you select them / do attacks with them
When you whisper “Ya estan vendiendo”

But if you're worried about the bacteria
if your arms are a Britishness
pull baby pink gears of war, baby
start in a nice cheap pad

Cause who needs the Power Cheat Code
When you’ve got the widgets and sticks
It hurts the concept of stealth
And you wind up more plodding than zipping

And you can’t tell the FORZA MOTORSPORT
From the massive Black Friday headache
Look at Vista: what a nightmare!
What a sorry assed prize to win

I’m going to tell you again now
If You're Going Out I'm Going Out
Who loves a wookie in parachute pants?
Who loves us the most?

If you’re laying your 360 vertically
If you’re laying face down and you kip
Laying waste to hundreds of zombies
Kick your screwattack sponsor for me

If your head says it invented avatars
But your heart is wet for Halo
Call me at the inappropriate female times
The lines are impossible

Thursday, November 27, 2008

from the vaults...

HAPPY SPANKSGIVING

(Spank). Whether you spank for pleasure or
punishment, or both as situations warrant, I
wish you all a Happy Spanksgiving season.

Spank hard...spank safe!

Too many carbohydrates in Italy . . . Jamaica it is!
I'm thankful for big spoons and floors!
HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY ROCKSTAR!

Spank hard...spank safe!

What better place to spend an Autumn weekend
but in a lingeree drawer. Happy Spanksgiving.
You are repressed but you're remarkably dressed is it real?

Spank hard...spank safe!

Typical. I do all the work and the "King" gets
the credit. Happy Spanksgiving! Two In the
Moonlight, Ack! Antelope! I could use a breath mint.

Spank hard...spank safe!

Personality and I are finally getting along.
Happy belated Spanksgiving to all by the way!
I had a nice time in michigan...sunny ...

Spank hard...spank safe!

Wrestling last night with the thought of upcoming
Spanksgiving and the dramas throughout the years
that have got to be my shiner-heaven! hoo-Ray!

Spank hard...spank safe!

Strokers! Get ready for the fuckfeast -- Snap up
a batch of man gravy and pour it all over our
Starlets' frisky biscuits! Have I found the other side???

Spank hard...spank safe!

Now Ride! By now a lot of people are showing
up for their holiday weekend in the desert. A large
contingent at the retail store for "Leather Happy Hour."

Spank hard...spank safe!

The only Turkeys I'll be seeing this Spanksgiving are my dear
friends Brook, Katie and Baby Richy. I was very happy
to help them mark this moment in their family's growth.

Spank hard...spank safe!

We got lots more smut in store for you all month long!
(And on a school night, nonetheless!) I had to kill
them to make them happy or some shit.

Spank hard...spank safe!

A ball, peeking out from behind rows and rows
of empty happy meal boxes ... know what the hell
they are doing :) Oh and everyone have a SpanksGiving!!!!!

Spank hard...spank safe!

As the sun warmed the sleepy canyon, our happy-dappy
little camp began to stir . Something that'll make a cat
happy? A wonderful day of spanking and sucking!

Spank hard...spank safe!

Lists make me happy. ... my vietnam [Nov 21,12.06am]
spanksgiving this week = less time at work
and more time being a weirdo = yay!

Spank hard...spank safe!

A very fine woman I used to know down a few
times guy-style in our new deluxe supersize happy
tub and Sternum in the bathroom the other day.

Spank hard...spank safe!

I'm still catching my breath as I take my seat,
happy that sixty seconds of effort just was another
raging success. So tomorrow's the yankee spanksgiving.

Spank hard...spank safe!

And have a Happy Spanksgiving y'all!!!!

Thursday, August 28, 2008

FLARF BEAT!

"Best thought, worst thought"
Vol 1 No 1

Featuring
"A unicorn boner for humanity" by Sharon Mesmer

Your Problems with FLARF


"Mohammad Vs Mesmer"
A review of "Dalek Boner and Steepleflower"
Michael Magee's Latest Apologies
"I Google Myself"

this is it... don't miss your chance to PARTY WITH THE FLARF POETS!
Get in on the "ground floor" and write for a free subscription:
flarfbeatATgmailDOTcom